Saturday, November 13

Wearing Their Hearts on Their.. Trunk?

For those of you fortunate enough to be outside of the spectrum of this particular vehicular trend, I'll enlighten you a bit. The cars without a sticker ribbon adorning them are becoming fewer and farther between. In the Patch, it seems to have taken over 8/10ths of the cars on the streets.

These ribbon/stickers (I'll be calling them rickers, because it sounds like a terrible disease, and that's how I view them - a cancer) are being sold under the guise of supporting funding-for-breast-cancer/our-troops/veterans(?). They are huge. They are being sold at Walmart. That's strike #1.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for the support of all of the above. I think that it's great that so many people care about these causes. It's really being showcased in the number of god-awful-ugly stickers accosting my eyeballs the last few weeks. Heartwrenching, really. Gagworthy, mostly.

They're for sale at Walmart, people. Share the wealth, give to charity, of course. It's a wonderful thing. But your need to plaster your concern all over your method of transportation makes me want to go balistic with a paint scraper.

Is everyone that full of themselves? If so, wouldn't an investment in a giant, portable marquee be more cost-efficent in the long run? You could program it to say different things, one for every month of the year. In Februrary, you could type in, "I love black people. I know some black people, and they say I'm cool. I am a charitable person, as well. I plan to watch at least 1 hour of The History Channel this month. Doesn't that make you like me more?"

On second thought, I'm pretty sure that most of the proceeds are going to Sam Walton's prodigy. And we all know that they can really use the charity.

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