Saturday, May 26
Of course I went running, and guess what I found?
Linus was dropping dog treats to the floor for Huck.
Friday, May 25
Lisa pointed out the ones she thought were the best, like a black and white kitty. Those are always her favorites.
I immediately gravitated to the orange tabby kittens. There were two of them, and the first one I went to Lisa warned me away from. "He's like a tiger, be careful!" I picked up the second one.
He weighed as much as Linus. Immediately when I touched him, he started purring.
I think I'll be slightly disappointed when I get to see the kittens. I want another one of these:
and I think it's virtually impossible to find.
In my yard
Bruce and I discussed bringing another soul into the family (forgive me, I just rewatched the first season of Big Love), and we decided we're ready for it. A kitten is just what the doctor ordered. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your POV), there always seem to be kittens in need of a good home. Lisa's mom's cat just had a litter (today!) and as soon as they're big enough, I'll get to take my favorite home to meet the Linus. Fingers crossed that the Linus won't mind too much.
I was turning off the lights and double-checking the locks tonight before I came in to write this, and I was amazed all of a sudden at how completely happy I really am. Sure, some things could be better. Bruce could be here, the house could be clean, what have you, but those things don't really matter very much in the long run.
Bruce is gone because it's a fantastic opportunity for him to do what he's been working towards for years now, for great pay and benefits. He's not away all of the time, and the time he is away he's getting to spend time with his best friend whom he's seen far too little of in the past year. He was stagnant working from home all the time. The work he's doing, will get to do with his new job is exciting. I love to hear him excited. The house? I'll clean it later.
I'm very happy. I love my husband more every day, whether he's here or in Missouri. I have a wonderful family, most of whom I love very much. I'm going to be an aunt at the end of the summer. There's a Mr. and Mrs. Mallard Duck who eat corn under my feeder almost every day. In a few weeks, they might bring their babies by. My brother is coming to visit this weekend. I have curtains on my windows. The birds like my yard, and for that matter, so do the bunnies. My neighbors are nice, and they crack jokes at me when I'm in the yard. I have a garden that is growing green things to my great surprise. I have a warm cat on my lap and a dog who will be very excited that it's bedtime in a few minutes. My family is healthy and strong. My life is good, and I am a full person.
Saturday, May 19
Friday, May 18
I'm going to try to stay sane, find things to do, read lots of books, garden and maybe get a new kitten. How's that for keeping busy?
Yesterday Bruce and I had to drive to Green Bay to pick up his Greyhound ticket (yes, he went Greyhound). On the drive back home, I begged him to go to the cheese factory. We came up a little short on it, because I didn't know it was coming up, and we didn't make the turn. I was sad. Bruce said, "You do know I'm coming back, right? I promise I'm coming back."
Of course I cried. How come that guy knows what I'm thinking even when I don't?
Wednesday, May 9
Grandpa Del kept a smaller station, feeding an equally wide assortment of birds. His phillosophy was a little more live-and-let-live, and he read up on his birds, knowing the nesting habits and calls of most of the varieties in our neck of the woods. He had an encyclopedia in his head, and would gladly share all that information with me, if I cared to listen. I did, even though I was young and my patience was short. Grandpa Del had a stutter. To make himself better-understood, he'd often talk slowly and carefully, but his words held much wisdom. I was older when we lost Grandpa Del, and so my memories of him are more vivid. I wish I had these kinds of memories of Grandpa Roy, but I treasure the ones I do keep, and hold them close to me.
For a few weeks, I've been feeding my neighborhood birds. I love seeing their little habits and I'm amazed at how much I remember from my talks with my grandpas. I've been reading up on them, too. My Dad knows that, and last weekend when we were at Grandma's house, he showed me some homemade feeders Grandpa Roy had built. He told me to take one home, maybe fix it up. He told me Grandpa would be so proud. He choked up a bit.
Part of me fought not to fix up the feeder. I thought that every time I looked at it, I'd be reminded of how it was built by Grandpa, and how special that would make it. I realized, though, that I'd be remembering that however it looked. By cleaning it up and painting it a bit, it would be that much more attractive to the neighborhood. Grandpa would be all the more proud of it.
I'm painting it blue. As I paint, I think about how the brush that stained it red was held by Grandpa Roy. I think about the knawed-on bottom and how rough it is to paint, and think about him cursing the squirrels that did it. It makes me mist up a little bit.
Tuesday, May 8
You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Saturday, May 5
I'm very sure that Bruce won't be using his time in another state to create a second family.
He had to drive to Chicago today to meet someone who's offering him a job. It should be good. I'm crossing my fingers.
Thursday, May 3
What will I do when he's gone? Perhaps I will Candle-Party - I did surprisingly well with the one I did, I got more than any other candle-party person she's helped. It was pretty damned cool. I got so much freaking stuff. If you ever want any candle party stuff, please, come to me first. It was a huge ego-boost.
Maybe I'll just landscape my yard and cross my fingers that B isn't having a second family on the side, the 1/2 time he's spending in Missouri. I did get a promise out of him, but we all know that sometimes that isn't enough. I love my husband, and I know it's enough, but I feel I need an extra promise, you know? I just want him to be happy. And you know what? Being away 1/2 the time might be good for us, too. After all, we met at away 100% of the time, and were fantastically attracted to each other. We'll probably be ON FIRE when we're seperated. It's how we roll. What am I worried about? Not much, actually. I love Bruce.
Wednesday, May 2
Anyway, I think I've pared things down to what really matters. I'm still having trouble getting a photo to post properly, and hosting it on my test Blogger blog doesn't seem to be working anymore. Flickr won't let me post it here without a direct link back to Flickr, and I want the direct link to send you back to my blog. So that's not an option.
I suppose an easy solution for all of my problems is to find a different blog host, but I'm completely unwilling to pay any dollar amount for a blog. So I'm stuck between a semi-soft rock and a kind of crumbly space. It's not like it's the end of the world or a catch 22 or anything, but it's an annoyance.
PS: Like my new header?