Thursday, September 30


Sometimes, times like right now, I think that the smartest thing to do would be to not vote. I didn't watch the debates, I can't stomach them. I never could, and I don't believe I ever will be able to.

I think that Kerry has some valid points, as does Bush. Seeing as how I personally wish Bush a very painful death - something involving scissors and a leash - I could, theoretically, just vote for Kerry out of spite. But then again, I don't vote out of spite.

If someone were to run for public office and be entirely honest about everything, I think I would vote for them, just for the hell of it. I like to know what I'm getting myself into, and these two men aren't the types who will tell me what's what. Therefore, I can't bring myself to vote for them.

I'll probably vote Nader, for a few reasons:
  1. I know the basics of where he stands, and he refuses to not run.
  2. I like his environmental policies, and his Libertarianesque ways.
  3. Everyone and their brothers are telling me that if I vote for him, I will be going straight to hell*.

I hate it when people tell me what to do. I hate it even more when people tell me what not to do. I hate politicians. I vote Nader.


*Handbasket/accessories not included in aforementioned price.

I love being the type of person that people feel like they really know, even when they don't. I like being that friendly person.

Sometimes, though, I feel like the odd-man-out. Just because people think they know me, doesn't mean they do. Am I more honest, because I let others see a teensy bit of the real me? Or am I less honest, because that teensy bit is highly controlled, and debated over, in my mind?

Also, it makes me feel like a fraud, though it shouldn't. When I let people in, it's always the little part of me that I believe they will appreciate. I hate showing those parts of me which I know might be misunderstood. My co-workers feel better, thinking they've got me all figured out, so I let them think that. My friends, my true friends, think there's always something new around the bend, and I let them see a few of those new things - to keep them guessing.

My Fiance knows the most about me that any one person has ever been privilage to, and he loves every bit of it. At least, that's what I'd like to think.

I sometimes wonder if I'm selling myself short, by being only a portion of myself, to nearly everyone I meet. But then, at other times, I see how much I affect people, and I want to continue what I've been doing. It's an odd cycle.

I like being me, and I like being able to show me to people. Even if it's just a teensy bit at a time.

Does anyone else have any similar social dillemas?
Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin

It's a good thing.

Wednesday, September 29

Life is a Highway

It's not the easy, well-paved bits that show us how to be.

It's the jostly, disruptive parts that really show us how to position our asses on the seats.

There's my pearl of wisdom for the evening. Look at every bump as an opportunity for re-allignment, and your life will be filled with smoother rides.


I'd like to think that I'm lucky.

That is a major theme in my life. That there sentance? Pretty much sums up the thought that occurs most often in my day-to-day life.

Specifically, right this minute, I'd like to think I was lucky, in that I am capable of erasing all thought of the burdens my life has placed upon me, and having pure, unadulterated fun - if only for a few minutes at a stretch. I would love to believe that I was born capable of jumping on a trampoline with 10 people between the ages of 2 and 10, with no worries. That isn't the case.

I have devoted a vast amount of my conscious thought, over the course of the past 3 years, to shutting off the worry. Everyone worries, all the time. I spend most of my day convincing my 'type A' brain that I'm not the only one who has to worry for the entire world. I worked very very hard, at times, to be at the stage in my life where I am now.

Jess has brought up some extremely good points, over the past few days, regarding childhood and nostalgia. It's made me take a good long look into my past, and the things I wished I could still experience.

Perhaps I'm too good at forgetting my responsibilities. Perhaps I'm a bit jealous, that so many people take care of theirs in a more timely manner than I am able to. My bills might not go forever without being paid, were it not for my ability to turn off that nagging portion of my brain. It's give and take, as with everything.

I see two distinct personalities developing, in my mind:
  • Person A (we'll call him Bob) is an adult. Bob is very responsible, and worries about his various responsibilities. He takes care of things; his bills, his rent, his healthcare, his insurance.. nothing goes unattended-to. He occasionally thinks back on life as a child, and remembers it fondly. He occasionally "mourns" for a time when he played kickball in the alley, and the biggest worry on his mind was a skinned knee, or that kid next door who could kick farther than he could. Because his brain is so focused, he is often unable to re-create the same scenario - one in which life is simple. Bob is successful and driven.
  • Person B (we'll call him Jack) is a child. Jack is forgetfull, and he spends a lot of time doing things that most adults wouldn't consider a priority. He lets things slide; his bills, his time with his parents, sometimes his children.. everything gets taken care of at the last minute, if it gets taken care of at all. He spends ample time in a simple state of mind. His thoughts wander on a regular basis, and nothing keeps his attention for very long. He sacrifices greatly, in that he's highly unstable - nothing, not even his job is a guarantee. He is happy, because he can see the simple goodness in all of life, but sad, too, for because he doesn't always think things through to the end, his life sometimes lacks the silver lining.

These two people [the very simple versions I just created] are not mutually exclusive. There are parts of all of us in each one, I believe. It takes all types, to create a flavorful brew. And believe you me, we have some spice.

I hate the thought of anyone not believing they play an important role - fact is, everyone does. It's all a matter of perspective, and I'm sure we all realize that. You will never know everything that made me, me; I will never know your full perspective, either. It's the differences that bring us together, the learning. I firmly believe that.


I've got a cold. As much as I wanted to believe it was allergies, as much as I convinced the people around me that it was, it was not. It is, in fact, a cold.

I spent too much time at work today. All 6.5 hours were mind-bogglingly difficult. On my first break, I thought about how much I love my job, and the people there. On my second, I thought about how much I want to move on. I'm getting bored, already. Partially because the thrill of the first adrenaline-laced few months is over, partially because I don't particularly like a few of the people I have contact with every day. Things were looking up twards the end of the day, but I just know that pharmacy isn't going to be "the thing for me". It doesn't put a sparkle in my eye, a spring in my step, to think about going to work. Maybe that's an unattainable goal, but I don't think so. I really want to be a Vet Tech, eventually.

I went back to work twice today, after my shift. The first time to show the people I work with a picture of me with my darling dear [they think we're amazing, and we've been unanimously voted in as a "cute couple"]. The second to pick up my cold medicine, after it'd worn off here at home. My brother's hoodie and my koala bear pajama pants aren't my first choice, when going to my place of employ, but it made everyone laugh.

A little girl was running past me, and I smiled at her. She slowed down, looked me up and down, and said, "I like your pants!" It made me smile more, because it was sweet and genuine in that way that only kids can be. She slowed even more, and said, "You're really pretty!" She went on her day, never thinking about how she'd just lifted me to cloud 10.5. Amazing. I love life.

Tuesday, September 28


Pretty good matches, don't you think?

Jenn (two N's, thank you very much)

She's a friend of mine. We met through the same place I met most of my online friends, a yahoo chatroom. She was in there a lot, when I first started OkCupiding, and therefore, she heard a lot about it. I encouraged her to take the test, and she took off from there.

Like a duck to water. I think she was meeting people as fast as I was, messaging became her addiction, much as it was mine, for a time. She met a few people whom she really connected with, and many she didn't. Much like myself.

She met someone, someone amazing, from Belgium. She talked to him constantly, every spare minute. She couldn't stand to not be around him. She went to see him, eventually. She visited him in Belgium, and things were more than she could have ever hoped for, but soooo sweet. It was amazing, she said. So amazing, in fact, that in 10 days' time, she's moving to be with him.

I feel great - I feel responsible for her relationship, too. I'm so happy for her, so glad that it's working out. I'm all warm and fuzzy.

Quality Time

I want to lose a few. In general, not for the wedding. I want to be healthy, I want to look at myself and say, "This.. this is exactly how I would look, if I had a choice."

It's as much about comfort in my body as it is about looking good. I feel more comfortable than I ever have, when I look in the mirror, and I am loving that feeling. My life is coming together, and that is great - I want my body to reflect how much thought I put into my life, and how much I care about myself.

Best way to do that, I figure, is to care more about myself. By that I mean, pay more attention to what my body really needs. I have all I want now, with my life. The things that aren't wonderful, are being taken care of. Everything will be as it should be, in due time.

Prime example of what I could do to make myself feel better, something I truely don't need to be doing? Diet Coke. Cut it out, not drink more of it. I don't need to have 3 gallons/day, and it's probably making me feel more like crap than it's doing any good. Water is much better for me, and makes me feel full, and it doesn't hurt my teeth. Unless it's really freaking cold. Easily prevented.

My calorie book will once again be my best friend. No more adding cheese to everything [within reason, of course], no more dipping everything in something else before it reaches my mouth. Make an active effort to use fat-free, or low-calorie dressings and condiments. Use less condiments, in general. Avoid deep-fried foods [harder to do in Wisconsin than you'd think, but I'll manage]. Avoid eating out. Preparing food burns calories. Don't eat after 6pm.

I figure that the only thing I really don't want to cut out is alcohol - so I'll stick to my blush wine. Many calories saved. Beer for when I go out [it looks a little freaky in Wisconsin, drinking wine at the bar], beer will be Miller Lite, as I save myself a few calories that way, as well.

Hell, it's what I did before, and I lost about 40 pounds then. I can do it again. It only takes more thought, and thought is one thing I've usually got to spare.


I'm really glad, sometimes, that I can't post at work.

Today has been a whirlwind of emotions, mostly mine. Poor Sunny, that's what the titles would boil down to. Luckily, that's not the case, when looked at in retrospect.

The day is not over, yet.

Some of the people I work with, it has come to my attention, are not feeling as though I pull my own weight. This is due to misinterpretations, however, and hopefully I can get things back on track, and show them why what I spend my time on is important as well.

Wish me luck.


This cruise makes me all tingly..


It's insane. So much to pick from, so many decisions to make. Enough to drive a girl to drink.. oops, too late. By the by, if anyone comes across something they don't think that we'd like, skip to something else. I think the B and I have both been selecting drunkenly.

I've got a million kitchen appliances on the Kohls account. Not entirely sure I'm completely familiar with how to use them but hey, live and learn, right? I like the idea that everything I registered for is something that I've used, in helping my mom make her cookin'. That makes me feel good.

Registered for a Freakin'-Load of bar crap. I think B did the same.. he was registering for Bed, Bath and Beyond while I was doing Kohls.. so I think the bar total has added up to "More Than One Couple Could Possibly Use", but that's ok. I think that, between the two of us, most people would think that we're insanely popular. At least we're sanely popular with a fucking awesome bar. That's enough, don't you think? I so want an awesome bar. Keggerator, here we come.

Still not sure on the rest of it. I think registry #3 is going to be target. Hard to keep track of what you've applied for, especially after a few glasses of the wino. It will all work out well, I'm sure. No worries. I've got my B, and I intend on keeping him. No reason to worry.

Monday, September 27

Here's the Deal

We've decided to make a new blog, one for all you people who don't give a rat's ass about the wedding, and only want to read the lovely drivel from us.

Here it is.

This way, we won't be boring you when we get all "The wedding blah blah blah, the wedding this, the wedding that.. the wedding cake the wedding rings, blah blah blah torture." You know. How engaged people get.

This way, if you go there, it's your own damn fault, and now you can't complain that we forced you to listen. Bwah-haha.

Sunday, September 26

Here's the Deal:

The B and Sunny (that'd be me!) are on their way to getting hitched. This here blog is going to be the work in progress that will be our wedding, and in the future, our lives. I'm personally hoping that for the time being, we can keep it somewhat limited to our plans for the actual wedding, our feelings re: the wedding, and our details that we're planning on including. Also, maybe a guest list of some sorts. It's utilitarian, but in a really freaking exciting way, as it's our WEDDING.

Oh yeah, and feel free to offer up input, as we're open to suggestions.

Thursday, September 23

Fortunate Coincidences:

  • Levi and the condo (yay for Lev! yay for us!)
  • Mom and Ron and the wanting to go anyway
  • Mom and Dad wanting to go to St. Pete
  • Lisa having plenty of vacation time
  • Jess and Robo wanting to go there
  • John being in the Keys
  • Abbie doing photography, and wanting to go
  • Cam being awesome chef, maybe being so kind as to cook dinner afterwards
  • Terri and Levi wanting to come
  • Dad playing guitar, if we absolutely need music
  • Everyone wanting to be there, even if it's not the most natural of things, just coming together for us on our day :)

Keep in mind this is a list in progress, and we'll continue it soon.. with more good things to come when I tell my people, I'm sure of it.

Told Sam

Wow, that went sooo well. Keep forgetting that he's getting married, too, so we had lots to discuss.

Him and Amy are doing it in the Carribean (awesome) hopefully (fingers crossed for them) in March. Makes total sense.

It's nice to know that people are thinking along the same wavelength as you are.. I especially like it when it happens independantly.

He's doing well, which is really awesome. Neurological Science? Something like that.. I'm really glad he found something that fits him so well. It's perfect - and that makes it great.

He reminded me of a few things that I'd forgotten about.
  1. His parents got engaged the day they met. They were at the same wedding, and they just knew it was right, and things went from there. 6 months later, they were married. Awesome. I always loved that story, it makes me smile.
  2. His dad's name is Bruce. Glad that's the only similarity, because it'd be too creepy, if there were more. Infinately more creepy.

Anyways, I was a little worried, before I called. I hate to think that not everyone will understand how this all came about, but I'm really happy in the results, when I've told people the story behind Bruce and I. Everyone has been really cool about it, they trust my judgement. It's amazing. People never cease to amaze me.

Up Until Now

I've been so caught up in telling B's friends, and coworkers, and people who fall into both those categories that we're engaged that I think I forgot that I've got people who I need to tell, too.

  • Misty
  • Karen
  • Uncle Tom & Aunt Debbie
  • Clara
  • Grandma Mavis
  • Les and Rita
  • Michelle
  • Grady
  • Work
  • Mike
  • Jamie
  • Deesil/Chat
  • Eddie
  • LeeAnn
  • Rachel (forgot I had a sister again, for a while there)
  • Sam
  • Sami (maybe)
  • Sue and Bob and Weston and Erin
  • Whitney

That's what I've got, after thinking, and then going through my phonebook on my phone. Yes, I'm a dork. You notice how they got sort of.. alphabetical tward the end? That's why.

This was the good one, but now I'm thinking that I look stoned, so I decided to put all three of them up. You be the judge. Posted by Hello

"What kind of expression is THAT? We need one that's less.." "Creepy?" "Yeah, less creepy." Posted by Hello

"Wait, are your eyes closed? Let's get another one.." Posted by Hello

It's Levi-approved! Yay for vinagrette! Posted by Hello

Dressing #3.. Vinagrette of some sorts. Posted by Hello

Explaining to us all how a dressing could be "too chunky". Posted by Hello

Dressing #2.. Honey Mustard (too chunky) Posted by Hello

Dressing #3.. Vinagrette something?  Posted by Hello

Me all crazy taking a picture of myself - Levi was doing the aiming, through the screen he could see. Weird, but it turned out good. Posted by Hello

Terri's so pretty :) Posted by Hello

Inside Bruce's Nose Posted by Hello

Terri, Jamie and I Posted by Hello

Ta-Da! Posted by Hello

Terri before the blast. Posted by Hello

Levi and his ranch... Posted by Hello

Here are the Details:

Here's where B was talking about it late at night, when we first started really thinking about it.

Here's me, when I decided I wanted to marry the B.

Here's me, after the question had been popped.

Here's B talking a lot in order to make no sense to anybody else, re:his reaction to the question having been popped.

Here's me telling my mom that she might want to be in Florida in May.

Here's when I remembered I'd have to tell my mom.

Here's the boys, in all their fuzzy glory. Posted by Hello

I was behind the bar entirely too much last night. Posted by Hello

Are Frank and Sarah dancing? Posted by Hello

Who took this? LOL! Posted by Hello

All crazy drunk. Posted by Hello

Here's Frank, trying not to kill Cam, and Cam trying not to move his head and die. Glad I didn't try it. Posted by Hello

Did we take this one? Anyways, that girl in the background wanted a piece of me, but my boys weren't having it. I coulda kicked her ass, anyway. Posted by Hello

Frank is an ex Navy Seal. Posted by Hello

Aww! Posted by Hello

Me and the Boys Posted by Hello