Thursday, January 27

Pray For Me

Do not, throughout the entire workday, treat me like a slightly retarded kindergardener, and expect me to respond to minor pleasantries about how you're going to pray for me. Pray for me? Yeah, that's great. Pray for whomever you want, lady, I'm still not enjoying my workday.

Do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT stand over my shoulder when I'm on the telephone. Do NOT tell me what to say to people, as I'm talking to them. DO NOT CORRECT MY PHRASING. DO NOT TALK LOUDER THAN I AM TALKING, IN ATTEMPTS TO DROWN ME OUT TO THE PERSON I'M ON THE PHONE WITH.

Don't correct me every time I say something to a customer. If I tell a customer it will be 10 minutes, don't override my opinion on how long it will take. Accept the fact that I'm doing you a favor, and giving you 30 seconds to spare. Please don't make me look like an idiot to the customers. I already feel like a fool, because when I was talking to them on the phone, YOU WERE TALKING LOUDER THAN I WAS.

Do not tell to do something that you know I can't do yet, and stand by and watch me try and blunder my way through 3 different prospective methods of accomplishing the task before you correct me. Don't be that lady. For Godssake, Don't Be That Freaking Person.

Do not give me minor compliments, and expect everything to be peachy-keen between us.

I left a message on Bruce's voicemail today. It said:

Hello, this is Sarah, calling from the pharmacy. Our phone number is ###-####. This message is for Bruce, I'm wondering if it would be possible to move, so that I don't have to work with A CRAZY LADY anymore. If you could give me a call back, again our number is ###-####, and let me know, that would be great. Thank you.

My skin was peeling off of my eyeballs today. I actually had to make an excuse for being a little short with her, because it's just not acceptable in my mind to bring any of those points to light with someone you're expecting to work with in harmony for the next 2 months. I don't have to work full-time for a while, though, and that's what kept me from gouging out my eyes with hot forks of dispeasure. And that's Exactly What I've Been Praying For, can you believe it?

[Incidentally, I read all of dooce's archives last week, having stumbled across her blog during the BoB's. I have to say that I'm captivated, and that she's amazing. Also, she'd make a great president..

...OF FRANCE!!! I'm going to make a list of all of the wonderful ladies who've been occupying my reading time in a little while. Until then, go about your business.]

Easy Scoop

Not to put off all my readers (again, always forever Putting Off The Readers, I Am), but for those of you with cats, have you tried This Amazing Kitty Litter?!


Seriously, I cannot stress this enough: You Can Literally Flush It Down The Toilet.

If Bruce changes his mind, and doesn't want to marry a crazy lady anymore, I think I'll hook up with the man who invented Arm and Hammer: Easy Flush cat litter. I hear he's much less picky about "sanity".

[Although we haven't tested it out, I'm pretty sure it would work for any box-trained children, as well.]

This has been an Official Sunshine and Lollipops Product Endorsement. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Tuesday, January 25

Feeling Drowsy

I've been tired for aproximately 2 weeks now. Stupid lady going on vacation. Stupid me picking up her hours. Stupid working full-time. Stupid everything.

I'm re-reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Good book, but it's a lot more depressing than the other 4. It's as if J.K. got to the point where she decided she wasn't just writing for ten-year-olds anymore, and took out the frivolous crap. Boo! I love the frivolous crap. If I want drama and sadness, I'll read a Stephen King, thank you.

Bruce and I went for a walk tonight. The air was bright and moist, and the sky was sort of.. crinkly. I'm not sure how to explain it. I'm not used to it being 60 degrees in January yet, but I think it will probably happen about the time I get ready to leave. I loved the walk, there's a great track a few blocks away from here. I need to work out, I feel like I've gained fifty pounds since I moved.

I miss a lot of things about Shawano. I miss Lisa most of all, but I also miss my animals and my parents. I miss my routine, and my old job. I miss being in charge. I miss recognizing the people around me when I was out in town. I miss a lot of stuff. I love it here, too, but it's Just Not Quite the Same, you know?

Maybe that's part of what's got me feeling sleepy lately.

Sunday, January 23

Happy Birthday, Cakes!

Here Lies Bruce.

Bruce has been an inspiration to me from the moment we met. He's been my best friend, my confidant, and the greatest lay ever for almost as long. For me. Don't go getting any ideas. Mine, ALL MINE.

His relationship with his family makes me feel better about everyone around me.

His everlasting optimism never ceases to amaze me.

His love for his friends, and the way he always does everything he can to make them feel good is downright incredible.

I can't believe how lucky I am. I've found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with--no holds barred--and he fell in love with me. He wants to share his experiences with me. His life. I can't tell you how stunned I am.

He's hillarious, a smarty-pants, a smart-ass, and it's all rolled up with charisma into a giant tortilla that just couldn't get any more attractive. If that wasn't enough, there's a toothpick sticking out, attaching an undying cherry tomato of optimism. This metaphor went too far. Suffice to say that I love him, and I will love him for as long as he'll let me. The amazing thing is (and I'll never get over this) he has promised to let me forever.

Happy birthday to the most amazing person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. You're everything I could ever hope for in a friend, you're more than I could imagine in a person. I love you with my whole life. My whole self.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.


Hey I am new here to Springfield and going to SMSU. Just thought I'd say hi because you are plenty gorgeous and I'm a big old dork. The kind that says hi to beautiful women for no apparent reason. Anyway PEACE AND LOVE FOREVER!!!!

Hey! What a nice little email that was! Nothing like a strange guy calling me gorgeous to make my day. Thanks!

Don't feel dorky about the messaging thing--I did the exact same thing a few months ago. Keep up the good work, eventually you'll meet tons of nice (like me) single (unlike me) girls, and they'll all be bashing down your dormitory doors to get them some fine Springfield college action. Or whatever it is that girls do now-a-days.

Stick with this OkCupid thing, seriously. It done me good, and it done other people good, and it might just done you good too. Heck, I'm engaged! Not that you should let that scare you or anything. Seriously, you don't have to get married. I just wanted to. The guy? Well, if I took off the tape, he might protest, but I swear he likes it in the basement. Besides, I'm only keeping him there until the wedding.

I'm joking around. We live in an apartment, there is no basement.

Responce to Responce:
Well taped and gagged or not he is a pretty lucky guy! You are not only gorgeous but pretty damn funny! I hope all goes well with you and your guy and everything else in your life. PEACE AND LOVE FOREVER!!!!!

This sort of stuff just makes you happy, you know?

Saturday, January 22


Usually when I drink, there's a point in the drunk in which I automatically start wanting to pass my blog address out to everyone within sight. This is a really bad idea because.. well, fuck, I've pretty much talked about everyone in sight on my fucking blog.

Bad Momma

I'm relieved to think that even though I was too drunk to remember getting home last night, I'm fairly certain that I dodged Linus and locked him out of the bedroom. This morning, the first communication with him was filling his food bowl to heaping proportions.

I've set him firmly on the long winding path to bulemia.

Thursday, January 20

The great energy drain....

Hello there. You've come here looking for Sunny and some good and interesting things to read. I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I can't really write much and I tend to ramble for the most part, so I'll try to keep this short and as painless as possible. Our precious Sunny is coming down with a pretty nasty case of the plague. She doesn't really know it for sure yet, just some sore throat and mild headache, but it's coming. I know. I gave it to her. This tends to change all plans. Anything you planned to do before the plague has to be put on hold as you lay on the couch in sweatpants (if you like that sort of thing) sweating out the toxins. You just want to sleep for a few weeks until it runs its course. Kind of like that Saturday Night Live skit with Will Farrell drinking the cough medicine to sleep thr.....nevermind. It's like a bad, bad hangover. Wish her a speedy recovery and tell her to drink juice and all that. Happy Thursday.

Sunday, January 16

The Year In Review:

This is a little late in coming, but suffice to say that I've had a lot to think about when considering what to dedicate 2004 to. I've come to the conclusion that most of the trials as well as the epiphanies of the year were the result of one of two factors:

1. Here is the first factor - Peter Vella wine, which guided me through half of the decisions made in 2004. His Delicious Red was in fact, quite delicious, and his Blush was delectable.

2. Here is where I spent a good deal of my time in May and June, looking through amusing profiles and taking amusing tests.. finally to come upon This Stunning Assortment of Intelligence and Craziness, which I fell in like with, and promptly messaged. Surprisingly enough, he was nice when he messaged me back (oddly enough, that's hard to find). He was also interesing and extremely funny, and we spent hours of time talking online, before we talked on the phone. Little was I to know that I'd be moving 3 states away to live with him before the year was up. Or that I'd be engaged to him. Go figure.

3. This is where I'd spend the rest of my time, during 2004. I got the job by accident, and wasn't entirely pleased to have it after Day One. The person who took me out of Lawn and Garden to work in the pharmacy did so because I was <20 and sort of pretty, which I (to this day) take offense to. However, instead of being all pissed off and defiant and sexual-harrassment-calling on him, I decided to do my very best to prove that I was incredible (also that I wouldn't be dating him, EVER EVER.) He eventually got the hint. Both the hints. I now am firmly implanted in the Kmart Pharmacy, whether I like it or not. Go me. I found a freaking career (of sorts).

4. I managed to document my entire dating history, which I'm insanely proud of. It's a show-and-tell of how smitten I was becoming with Bruce that I posted it. He posted his own in reply, which made me fall in love. Well, among other reasons.

5. Here is a post I'm including for the hell of it, just because I wrote it before I came to Blogger, and I don't think very many of you have realized that I added my archives from livejournal onto this site. I like this post, and you all should freaking read it. It rocks.

6. Here is a place where I relieved the pressure from a very real guilt that I had. Also an amazing post.

7. Dead Porcupine Road. That's all I have to say about that. Read it, damnit.

8. Here is a great story: One of the best stories I have from working at the vet clinic. It still makes me teary. Enjoy the sadness.

9. Here is everything I've ever felt about purses. Period.

10. This is me explaining to Bruce how in love with him I was, and how it grows every day.

11. Here is an interesting break-down of most of my interactions with my parents.

12. This is a dream I had once. Don't read it if you're not into that sort of thing. I know that Dreams Aren't Interesting To Other People.

13. This is a hillarious story about the vet clinic. To balance out the sad one, of course.

14. Leg Hair.

15. My coffee was one of the posts that I really liked. Enjoy.

16. What I Snuggle.

17. Olaf. Or another story about the vet clinic. Probably a more important story, in some respects.

18. Here is where I give The Best Reply To My Own Post Ever. It's pretty amazing, and you all should look. Also, it's good for me to remember what it was like not having sex for 2 years. I know, I was a FREAK!

19. Make-Out Whore. Or: Goes To Show You Never Can Tell.

20. A story about people I work with, re: gay people. Bastards.

21. This is a story I wrote in June that I'm incredibly proud of. It comes from the heart and true circumstances, and it makes me cry. It's the only thing I've ever felt that was worth publishing, and I hope you agree.

22. My Gay Lover. Well, almost.

23. My Vacation in heaven.

24. Stale Tequiza '99. The Bestest Party EVER.

25. This, when I was almost at the point of breaking at work, was enough to keep me going. The knowlege that I was able to train people, without knowing everything myself, was more than enough to make me strive even harder.

26. Here is a point that I can't drive home firmly enough. Be Patient, People!

27. The Not-Getting-Any prescriptions.

28. Grady said this. It made me feel good about the Enormously Indigestion Causing Event that was to follow the next day.

29. Hair, revisited. This is something I have no shame in admitting to being amazed that I wrote. Whatever that means.

30. The little girl inside..

31. My Opinions On Offspring (not the band). Also the first post to which Pops replied.

32. My Greatest Recipe Ever.

33. Coming of Age. It's a great thing.

I think this is all I can afford to post tonight, other than this:

1. This also had much to do with my life in 2004. Congradulations, college freaks with a website, you're now more famous than you were.

As I've been drinking since before I started this post, I think it's time to quit. Good night y'all. I hope you like my summary. Leave me comments, or leave me.. no comments. Whatever. Bastards.


Stolen from SJ, who stole it from someone English(tm):

The Sun Newspaper Online - UK's biggest selling newspaper:

A JILTED girl tore off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands - then popped it in her mouth, a court heard yesterday.
Amanda Monti, 24, grabbed Jeffrey Jones, 37, by the genitals in a rage after he refused to have sex.
She ripped off his left testicle leaving him in 'excruciating pain'. Monti, just 5ft 2in, then put it in her mouth to hide it.

The testicle was later found by a pal of Mr Jones who handed it back, saying: 'That's yours.' Doctors were unable to re-attach it.
The victim told Liverpool Crown Court how he had earlier ended their relationship but Monti refused to accept it.
After a party at his home in Netherton, she wanted sex but he was not interested. There was a struggle and she ripped off his shorts leaving him in his pants. "

Not that it's funny, really. I mean it, it's totally not funny. Unless you count the part where they say "excruciating pain". As though that's something that really needs to be clarified. Not just pain, and not just excruciating pain, it was totally "excruciating pain". I think they should have capitolized it. I believe the men I know would agree that it totally warrants "Excruciating Pain". Or maybe even "EXCRUCIATING PAIN".

Making full use of the "blog this" option today, as you're sure to notice. I'm all up in the "BLOG THIS" today.

At Least They Know Where to Find It.

#3 in a search for bochelism, and let me tell you, few things have made me so proud.

Now I'm going to throw in phrases like vietnamese hookers and rotten butt cheese and la cooka racha to try to bolster future searchers into coming to the place of all things sunshine.

One girl did find it by searching for Sunshine Girl, which is also pretty damn cool. Now I'm going to start referring to myself as Total Hottie of the Hottness With the (Naked) Heat, and see if that brings me more traffic.

Thursday, January 13

Here is an extremely accurate and incredibly disturbing account of what happens to a pumpkin after the first of the year. Unfortunately, like the locking of the keys in a running car, I knew the results of this before this year, too.

I Could Just Eat Him Up!

I really hope I feel better tomorrow - that it was the beers last night, and not the combination of smoked oysters for dinner and locking my keys in the car during torrential rains that's making me feel ill. I can't afford to be sick, the other tech is on vacation for the next 2 weeks, and I have full time hours while she's gone.

Sitting at the desk after just getting home, Linus attacked me and tried desperately to smother me with his warm purring lovin's. This involves pressing his face and his nails alternately into my flesh--preferably in the head region--until I cry for mercy. Today, he was rubbing his face into my lips, and I opened them up, to see what he would do. He pressed his whole head into my mouth, purring the whole way. I had to remove it, he didn't want to move. Awesome.

Hardy Grass

Tonight was one that should go down in history.. and it would, had it never happened before. Unfortunately for my ego, it has, and thus it won't create for itself the monumental place that it should, but it's still worth documenting.

In the summer of 2001, I was living in Rochester with my ex-boyfriend. We were there because he had a summer internship at Mayo Clinic (computer department) and I followed him, as I was apt to do (and did, throughout our relationship). I had a job--eventually--with a party supply store, but had the weekend off. I had to make a trip to Minneapolis, which was an hour away.

I took the trip, and did whatever it was that was so important to me (at the time - but isn't it surprising the things that seem imperitive at the time, but end up being details forgotten for the better story?). I drove back to Rochester, stopping to fill Sam's car up about an hour away from our (quasi) home. As I stopped, and turned off the car, I remembered his paranoia about unlocked cars, and hit the auto-lock, and left the car. I had forgotten to turn off the car, however, and my own vast stupidity at locking the keys in the car nearly killed me. I had to go inside the station and admit to the attendant that I was the stupidest human being ever before they would suggest a solution.

Tonight, when the same situation presented itself, I asked Neighbor #1 to use his phone, called B, and made him come home. Then I talked to Friendly Downstairs Neighbor (#2) and he just happened to have a locksmithing kit in his truck. Unfortunately for us, by the time B arrived we had pretty much decided that he wasn't knowlegeable enough to get my freaking car open.

In 2001, I went to the shop next door, looked all cute, and the Crazy Merchant inside let me inside of Sam's car, and I drove away without paying a cent. In 2005, my Wonderful Fiance came home immediately to me, and called Pop-A-Lock; I was back in my car in a minimum of time in either case.

One thing I have to say is that this situation is much better than the one before it. Sure, with the 2001 incident I was able to take care of matters by myself, due only to my helpless/cuteness factor, but in this case, I didn't have to hide the whole situation from my lover. I have to say, this makes for a much more interesting story than the previous. The fact that I couldn't share and laugh about the first one might have a little to do with that.

I was outside tonight, looking around, and I realized something interesting. The trees here in Missouri shed their leaves, but the grass never dies. I'm used to a place where the whole world gets covered in frozen white for 6 months of the year, and in the last year I've gotten used to a state where the grass doesn't even Freaking Die in the winter. How crazy is that?

Do you think the two are related?

Wednesday, January 12

My Religion

A comedian on TV just said, "I'm Catholic... Well, I'm Catholic in the sense that if a cow is born in a tree, it's a bird."
He's growing more every day.. it's really amazing to see.
Here he is, a week after we got him, in his favorite resting place.

Tuesday, January 11

Sarah McLachlan - World On Fire

Sarah McLachlan - World On Fire

Now this is sometning wonderful that I'm sure hasn't gotten as much attention as it deserves. Whether you like the song or not, it's worth the time to look at the figures and realize how skewed our perspectives have become, living in this country.

It's also something to keep in mind in wake of the Tsunami From Hell, and with the presidential celebrations happening this inaguration. I can't believe how shallow people are, and how unaware they are, sometimes.

Then again, maybe all I can do is help to make people more aware.

It's time for a New Year's resolution from your Lollipopper: Do everything I can to make people more aware, and Do all I can to help.

What do you think of the video?

Monday, January 10


If you remember to bring home toilet paper on your way home tonight, I promise that I will:

1. Love you until my teeth fall out. (We all know that's a short time coming.)

1. Love you until I go bald. (No good, as my hair falls out with stress and over-enthusiastic dye-jobs on a fairly regular basis.)

1. Make you a seven-course meal for supper. (Let's be realistic, people!)

1. Empty the litter box forever.

2. Play Zelda all day long.

3. Love you wicked much, so much that it makes me queasy sometimes, forever.

Saturday, January 8


Author's blessing

If you have come to these pages for laughter,
may you find it.
If you are here to be offended, may your ire rise
and your blood boil.
If you seek adventure, may this story sing you
away to blissful escape.
If you need to test of confirm your beliefs, may
you reach comfortable conclusions.
All books reveal perfection, by what they are or
what they are not.
May you find that which you seek, in these pages
or outside them.
May you find perfection, and know it
by name.

Everyone should read this book.


I think I need a zen garden, so that I stop playing with the litter box. Who knew it'd be so relaxing?

Thursday, January 6

New Noises

  • Soft snoring (would be "snoring", but for the copious amounts of snoring that occured before the arrival of the baby).
  • Mrraaaw, Meeeeeeer, Meeeeeeeeyow, Mee-meeee-meeeeeer
  • That god-awful roar that happens when the rolly-chair rollies over a kitty's foot.
  • Purrring.
  • Itty bitty grunts over the litter box. Mr. Man wants so bad to make Mama happy and poo for her that he just can't help but push. And we all know that pushing means grunting.

There are more, but this is the major part of them. I feel terrible for the rolly-chair incident. How was I supposed to know that kittens travelled the Speed Of Light? I didn't think it was part of the deal. I was horribly wrong, and it Will Not Be Forgotten.

I promise that someday soon, I will make you stop climbing up the length of my body to get to my shoulder. It's just that once you get started, if I try to pull you off, you get a look of Abject Terror.

Please stop climbing up us when we're trying to eat dinner. I know it smells good, but you've got your own stinky dinner right over there. Just because we eat on our butts in front of the TV doesn't mean that you can climb the mountains that are us to get to our shoulders. Do you think you'll intercept the fork? I doubt it. Have you looked at us? We Love Our Food. And crying isn't making us more sympathetic.

You're the sweetest thing in the world, and I love you to death. Now please stop confusing my eyelashes for toys.

I can't believe that you sleep the night through without a peep. Do you think that because the bedroom door is closed, we disappeared? Yes? Well.. of course you're correct. No use crying outside the door. You're right, it would be a waste. I totally wouldn't cave in and let you sleep with us when Daddy had fallen asleep.

Thank you for using the litter box, even without excessive prompting. You're a Tidy Cat.

Tuesday, January 4

Telling Daddy

sunnyfnday: i bought him a toy at the store today, and he LOVES IT he LOVES IT he wants to KILL IT and DRAG IT AROUND he thinks it's GREAT
bruce: LOL
bruce: that good, huh?
sunnyfnday: better because, you see.. IT HAS A BELL
sunnyfnday: he just launched himself off of me to go get it and KILL IT MORE
bruce: LMAO
bruce: awww

Buyer's Remorse

I went to Target today, in order to buy myself a few new shirts for work. Before that, I stopped at Goodwill (because hey, it's freaking cheap!) and found some pants. Alas, all that they had to offer for white shirts looked like stuff my granny would wear to church. Even though it's just work, I prefer to keep my sense of fashion as far away from granny's as possible, at all times.

While I was there, I celebrated my first check at my new job. Unfortuantely, that turned into a fairly expensive celebration, with the purchase of not one, but two white shirts for work, a navy tee-shirt for.. well, just for making me look splendid, I suppose.. a book (The Amulet of Samarkand, by Jonathon Stroud--a Harry Potteresque book, from what I gather on the back cover), hair-holder-backers (man, this urge I have to cut my hair is almost overwhelming, but I want to be able to do something pretty with it for the wedding), and hair dye. About $60.00 worth of remorse is coursing it's way through my veins right now, and it sucks.

Well, I've got to take off this new shirt, the kitty seems to think it's a climbing wall. Could someone help me feel better about my splurge?

Monday, January 3

Hi! My name is Peter.. I mean, Linus! I moved in with Big Warm Guy and Lady Who Wipes My Butt yesterday, and Man, Am I Pooped. I'm pretty lucky, because for the time being, they're carting me around everywhere and acting like I don't know how to do the simplest thing (eg: clean my own hiney), so I'm pretty spoiled. I hope to keep up the charade for as long as possible. PS: I promise to try not to shit in the bed anymore.

I Got a Kitten!

Now I get to wake up to Bruce saying, Baby.. BABY... Wake up. WAKE UP, HE'S SHITTING.

I, in a motherly fashion, have taken to following him around everywhere he goes, and praising him over-much when he goes potty. I'm also ashamed to admit that I find it necessary to take him and physically deposit him in front of his food once every few hours--just in case he's forgotten the need to eat--after which I deposit him into the litter box--just in case he forgets to poop.

I can now say, with utter certainty, that I will never be having children. I was scared to death to leave Linus here for 3 hours today, and panicked when I couldn't find him anywhere in the apartment when I got home. I found him looking at me sleepily from the first place I'd looked, Mom, don't be a dumbfuck, I'm right where you left me, sleeping. Now stop with the noise.

The kitten has taken to believing that I'm it's mother. This is partly because I've been wiping his butt after he poos, and partly because his mom was hit by a car last week, and he's mostly right. After all, who would wipe an asshole that wasn't their child's?

Again, I'm never having children. No matter how sweet it is that he kisses me.

Wisconsin Rabies Victim Goes Home

Wisconsin Rabies Victim Goes Home - Elites TV - Your Elite News Source: "When 15-year-old Jeanna Giese of Fond du Lac, WI was bitten by a bat at a church function on September 12, she didn't think much of it. But weeks later, when she began exhibiting signs of the disease, from which there is normally no cure, Giese was hospitalized in serious condition. Doctors at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee did not give up, however, and began a course of experimental treatment to try and save the girl.

Giese was placed in an induced coma and administered a combination of drugs to fight the infection. Doctors were optimistic, but it wasn't until she reawakened from the coma, that they were able to determine she had recovered fully and shows no signs of the long-term damage. She will continue to receive therapy at home.

Over the weekend, Giese was released from the hospital. In a statment, the hospital said that Giese was '...the first person in the world to survive the disease without receiving a vaccination after infection.'

Doctors are hopeful that this new 'cocktail' can be used in other countries where rabies poses a continuing threat to the population. "
Isn't that amusing. Little do they know...

Sunday, January 2

Seafood. You Get It? See Food?!

It started as a tiny murmur.

You know those summer days in the middle of August that feel.. thick? The ones that, as a child, you practiced your dog-paddle through, you'd argue with mom and dad for ten minutes, insisting beyond their heat-and-humidity-shortened patience that you could, in fact, play with the neighborhood kids without fear of heatstroke. You returned barely ten minutes later, panting and bathed in sweat. That's how full I was, after the China King Buffet. Little did I know that on the five-hour drive back home, that one of those infamous summer storms was fast abrew in my digestive tract.

As I felt the clouds gather, there was one distinct tornado-siren of a thought: Get thee to a bathroom, and STAT.

Stupidly, my pride and fear of communicable disease halted me of ridding myself of the questionable scallops int he most conventional (and immediate) manner. Although the first couple of wretches seemed almost to promise a release, a woman--and the half-dozen children attached to her hips--came into the bathroom. The idea of putting on a three part symphany (introduction, climax, finale) for them, and the realization of just how often public bathrooms are sanitized, quelled the urge to vomit. I got in the car, where the love of my life was waiting with Pepto Bismol and Advil.

I managed to sleep the ride away, waking only a few times to let out a groan. When we returned home, I stumbled up the steps to our apartment with my eyes closed. I stripped, demanded the window opened, and fell on the bed in one ungraceful motion, all before realizing that all was still not right in my tummy.

Now, plagued with scenarios of myself on TV--dying in bed with a news microphone stuck in my face--hearing a reporter in the background explaining "And if only she hadn't been to vain to purge the offensive food, she may have avoided this horrific strain of salmonella/bochelism/leprosy.

Calming me slightly (and if anything allows me to sleep tonight, it's welcomed, believe you me) is the vision of myself suing the Pepto Bismol company for near-murder, citing their ability to "cure" nausea. Without it's "help", I could have ended the torture where it should have ended - with a steaming pile of regurgitated chinese.

Saturday, January 1

We went to Mac and Pam's for our celebration. It was great: trees aflame, children amok, chaos abounding...
We weren't the only ones enjoying a Happy New Year, as you can see.
Mmm, Champagne.
I was recognized early on at the party for what I really am. It's a scarlet letter of sorts, but I wore it bravely.
We decided that a few trends deserve a second round of action. Fortunately this is not one of them.
I'm the first to admit, I'm not always comfortable around other people's children. Especially when they're on my lap. Bri is great, though. Seriously.
During, and..
That layer of green on the bottom is strictly ornamental.
We were all having a great time by the time midnight rolled around. Hey, what are those people setting off fireworks for? Idiots, it ain't New Years yet!! (And then, at 12:30..)
Happy New Year!!! Shortly after standing in front of the wrong kid for the picture, I went to bed.
The evening didn't end when I passed out, however..
As you can see, Bruce is getting a little sleepy..
This is right before they woke him up and sent him to bed.. without the corndogs, I might add.