Saturday, December 30

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 63%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 43%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Interdependence |||||||||| 36%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||||| 56%
Religious |||||||||| 36%
Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56%
Materialism |||||||||| 36%
Narcissism |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Work ethic |||||||||| 36%
Self absorbed |||||| 23%
Conflict seeking |||||| 30%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||| 56%
Romantic |||||||||||||| 56%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||||||||| 50%
Change averse |||||| 30%
Cautiousness |||||| 30%
Individuality |||||||||||| 50%
Sexuality |||||||||||| 50%
Peter pan complex |||||| 23%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||| 24%
Histrionic |||||||||| 36%
Paranoia |||||||||| 36%
Vanity |||||||||||| 50%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 50%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
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Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others


I have a problem. You see, Bruce pointed out to me a few weeks ago that my "Comment" link wasn't showing up when you were on an individual post's page, and that might be why I hadn't been getting as many (or let's be Frank here, any comments whatsoever) for a while. Since I changed my color scheme, actually. So then I changed that, to make it easier to comment. And still not a one.

This is just one example of why I do things the way I do. You see, when there was something wrong with the site, I could pretend that was the reason for the lack of commenting. Instead, now I know that I just plain wasn't getting people who wished to comment.

Of course, then again, maybe Everything is Not About Me, and I need to stop worrying and realize that people are busy at this time of year. Yes, that must be it. Carry on.

Things You Can Be Proud You Can't Say You've Done:

1. Fall over in the dark, knocking over things (you can't tell what they are, because it's dark) and hurting yourself. Crying. Sitting on the floor and having a little pity party for yourself. Drunk. While your husband laughs in the bedroom. Drunk.

2. Turning off the light in the bathroom before you leave, and somehow knocking the sink off the wall on your way out. Holding the sink for a few minutes, deciding that because there is water dripping on you, you must be outside. Completely convincing yourself that you are outside. Replying to your concerned friend, "No, I'm not OK, I'm outside and it's raining on me and my arms are getting tired." Drunkenly.

So anyway, on the way to the floor last night in the dark, I hit my nose on something. I still don't know what. Now my nose hurts and it feels like I've constantly got to sneeze. It's times like this that I wish I had a more extensive history of hurting myself. That way, at least I'd know if it was serious.

I have a feeling that it's only seriously embarassing.

Tuesday, December 26

True Confessions! Five AM version!

Do you know those magazines they sell called "True Confessions!"? They come out with a new one on a regular basis, and it's like Penthouse letters for women. They're meant to be little titillating stories for housewives to read when they're in between doing the dishes and perhaps making the loaves of bread from scratch for the next week. I used to buy them when I was ten, because I thought they were slightly naughty. They weren't. But I didn't know that.

Huck woke me up this morning at four fifty-eight in his standard manner*, and before I could get him outside (like as soon as I woke up), I smelled something foul. Now, Huck is slightly gassy, so that didn't necessarily mean anything, but I thought I'd turn the light on and look just to make sure. Guess what I found in the standard location?

If you guessed a few really stinky turds, you win!

I took him outside anyway, just to make doubly sure he had it all out of his system, and he made only a half-hearted attempt at a squat. Really it was more for my benefit. The point of waking me up was the same reason all those women write into those "True Confessions" magazines at the grocery stores. Sometimes, you've just got to tell someone, that's all. Then you feel better.

*Lightly jump on bed, lick Mama on nose, whine. Repeat with increasing frequency of whine until effective.

Sunday, December 24

Merry Christmas

Hope everyone out there has fun celebrating whichever holiday they choose to honor. If any. Special thoughts sent out to those of you celebrating with awkward family members for the second time in two days and really not looking forward to it. Actually, I'll send you some prayers, as well. To Pete.

Merry Christmas, every one.

Thursday, December 21

Cookies, Made

Oh, thank god, this new blogger, right? Finally it makes it easier for you to sign in and do your own thing! I love it.

Today I went to Grandma Mavis' house, and happened upon many many cookie cutters. This completely alleviated my past stresses about cookie cutters, and even though my boss scheduled me for different hours today than she's scheduled my hours for every other Thursday in the past two to three months, I was OK with the whole deal, because I had good cookie cutters. Some of these cutters are so antique they're impossible to fine now. I'll show you, as soon as I get some good pictures of the sets.

My cookie mystery has come to an end. Please come and visit us (Especially you, Cam, because Bruce loves you before all else - except for me - we LOVE visitors.)

Tuesday, December 19


What the hell? I realize that waiting until the week before Christmas is probably cutting things a little short, but WHY ARE THERE NO CHRISTMAS COOKIE CUTTERS ANYWHERE?

All I want, I was telling Bruce this, all I want is a reindeer. Just one reindeer cookie cutter, so that I can make oh-so-thin-and-crispy reindeer sugar cookies, just like Grandma always did. The closest thing to Christmas I've come in three stores is a freaking star. Which would be fine, but Hello? I've already got a star, thanks!

And even the most trusted store of all (Mom's House, as in, where my Mom lives) doesn't have them. She thinks that perhaps she THREW THEM AWAY.


Conversation Between Bruce and I, in the Car:

I: I don't know. I'm a little confused about what to get for Hannah for Christmas, you know? Five year olds are the worst to shop for. And this is her first Christmas*, so I want to make it special, you know?

B: [nods]

I: And I asked her, well, actually I didn't so much ask her as tease her because when she asked why I was shopping I told her I was out buying Christmas presents and you could see her little eyes light up and she was so excited and I teased her for a little bit when she asked me very coyly who I was buying presents for and I told her eventually that I might be in the market for a present for her, you know?

B: [nods]

I: And so she told me she would really really really love a guitar. And when I asked her how she liked the keyboard**, she said she loved it and that she already knows how to play one song, it goes, "C D G G G F E" and now she has a book so she can learn even more songs and isn't that great? And I really want to encourage her, because I have always wished that I'd had wanted to learn music, and here's someone who can, and why not encourage her when she's doing something creative and productive and she obviously loves it so much?

B: [nods] Oh yeah, totally. [nods some more]

I: And then she said that I shouldn't get her a guitar, because she thinks that maybe her parents are getting her a guitar, and that maybe I should get her something else instead, but she made sure to tell me that she already got that one dolly from Walmart, so don't get her that one dolly from Walmart, because she already got it. I'd get her a barbie, but she doesn't seem like a barbie girl, you know?

B: [nods]

I: I mean, I had friends when I was little who only wanted to play with baby dolls, but I was always more about dressing up Barbie for a night on the town with Ken, you know? I was way more into being cool and having boyfriends and going on dates than I was into having babies. I loved Barbie!

B: [nods]

I: Now that I think about it, so did my brother.

B: [silence, then explosive laughter]


*This is her first Christmas because she's a former Jehovah's Witness.

**The fun people in my family had a gathering the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Hannah asked my mom if she was getting a present that day, and my mom gave her our old Casio keyboard. My mom is totally spoiling her. I love it.

Monday, December 18

Whaddaya Know?

I just read this at this website.

Of course, I wouldn't have found it half as fascinating if I weren't one of the least likely to be in an accident. Perhaps all of that Leo venting and boiling over at minor things pays off on the road, because then we can afford to be charitable and patient, while other, more outwardly patient signs, bottle things up all the live-long day, and let it all explode while they're in motor vehicles?

I don't know, that's just a theory. But a good one!

Sunday, December 17


I decided late last night as Bruce* was watching that one movie they made a year or so ago about that guy who got skinny and won his high school crush's heart** that I wanted to make chocolate chip cookies. So I looked on a website for recipes, and I found one and made the cookies.

*Check out his blog. He's posting again and stuff, and he's wonderful. I'm sure you'll agree.

**What sort of message is this sending? The kind of message that sort of makes me pissed off, that's what sort of message.

So I looked at a few of the recipes, but nothing was jumping out at me. Then I came across this one. And it's got peanut butter in the batter. And maple syrup. And you can substitute butterscotch chips for the chocolate chips, and she says it makes them even better, and that's just great, because I happened to have only half a bag of semi-sweet chips and a whole bag of butterscotch, and this would work out perfectly. So I put together the batter, like the recipe says:

Printed from COOKS.COM

Dry Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups flour
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of baking soda

Wet Ingredients:

3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup (pressed) dark brown sugar
1/4 cup (pressed) light brown sugar
2 heaping tablespoons creamy peanut butter
1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla syrup
1 cup butter

Add last:

24 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
16 oz plain no salt added peanuts

Cream the butter and white sugar, add peanut butter, vanilla extract, and maple syrup. Add both the light and dark brown sugar.

Tip: pressing the brown sugar helps reduce little hard sugar balls in the batter.

Combine dry ingredients and sift into wet mixture thoroughly. Add chocolate chips and peanuts, if desired.

This batter is very good with white chocolate chips and even better with butterscotch chips!

Use a teaspoon to measure the cookies size and bake for about 8-10 minutes.

Bake at 375°F. Watch carefully and do not allow to brown. If cookies are browning too quickly, reduce heat, if not baking quickly enough, increase heat according to what your oven requires to bake cookies in 8-10 minutes.

Best served warm with milk!

Submitted by: Alexandra Hall

Only I'd started making another recipe (the one off the back of the chips bag) before I looked online, and that recipe and the others I'd seen all called for 1/2 cup of butter, so that's what I had in the bowl when I started. And then when I realized that it didn't have any eggs, I was flabbergasted and ran back from the kitchen to the office at least six times to make extra sure I hadn't missed them somewhere in the recipe, but I hadn't. But my batter was so dry! It for sure shouldn't be this dry!

So I ran back for the seventh time, after adding most of the flour mixture to the batter and knowing that something wasn't right, to check on what could be wrong. And that's when I saw that the recipe called for a full cup of butter instead of a half, and that the extra butter is probably what made it "melt-in-your-mouth". I put in the extra stick of butter and they turned out great - with half a bag of butterscotch and half a bag of semi-sweet chips. They're going to be gone before the end of the week, and they made at least four dozen.

Oh yeah, this is the movie.

Saturday, December 16

Public Service Announcement:

If you still haven't recieved your card in the mail, there are two possible reasons. The first is that half of our cards haven't gone out because we don't have all the addresses we need. Please send us your address.

The second reason is that some of our cards have been delivered back to our mailbox, because our mailpeople are dumbasses. Here's what they look like when they return to us:

(The back of the card.)

Our mailpeople are having a hard time telling the front of the card (with the stamp on it) from the back of the card.

Wednesday, December 13


When did Martin Score-say-see become Martin Score-says-ee?

Is it a case of everyone finally (after what, thirty years or more?) suddenly realizing his name has been pronounced wrong? Or is it one of those things where there have always been two schools of thought on the pronounciation, and I'm only now hearing the people from the second school of thought, after having heard nothing but the first school of thought's pronounciation for twenty-six years?

Wave #1

The first wave of Christmas cards will go out tomorrow. With harvest stamps from 2005. I'm pretty sure that protocol says I should buy fancy Christmas stamps, but if I don't get this first wave of cards out of here, I'll never fall asleep at night.

If you're not in the first wave of cards, that means we don't have your address. You should send me your address.

I can't believe the things I lose sleep about

Monday, December 11


I'm wearing Bruce's sweat pants right now. Although I don't personally think there is anything wrong with sweatpants, a part of me understands why he doesn't find them sexy, exactly. I think it has to do with the gathering-in at the bottoms. That's the least attractive part, if one were to search for the least attractive part.

Living in Wisconsin 1/2 mile from my family is presenting challenges that I'd never thought about before. Things are getting slightly better, but most of that has to do with the improvement in my own attitude since we've moved - I grew up very unsure of myself and with no friends. Being in the place where I finally became happy with who I am is making a monumental difference in how I feel. I've even been working out. Hot damn!

I can't be the only person who's completely bored by aerobic exercise. I'd rather do weights, just for the immediate gratification.

Poor Huck is either still sick from the chicken shit he ate on Thanksgiving, or he's sick again with an even more unknown illness. He woke us up last night after a long day of being very weary to make us take him out at least three times. It was not fun. Bruce and I had a fight about it. The fight mainly had to do with my insomnia and his general ability to sleep through anything that could possibly happen, and also my complete and utter jealousy of him for being able to sleep with no problems ever. I just want him to feel good again. It's been almost three weeks, is that too much to ask?

Sunday, December 10


So, I was on the phone tonight with Abbie, and I realized that I don't have the addresses I need to do my Christmas card send-off. This is the first year I'm doing it, and I have been a very bad friend and not gotten anyone's address. I don't know how I call myself a girl. I used to collect addresses all the time, so that it wouldn't look suspicious when (say, for example, right at Christmas time?) I needed them for something very obvious all of a sudden and came out and asked.

So I just committed a huge faux-pas and emailed all of the people I could think of and asked for everyone's address. Yeah, that's cheating. I'm well aware of it. But at least there will be Christmas cards this year.

Friday, December 8

Hoarding Again

Remember about a week ago? When I wrote that post about being a hoarder?

Remind me to use a bunch of paper towels on Sunday when we make candy, because otherwise I'll be stuck with candy cane paper towels until March sometime. You see, we picked up three rolls of it at Aldi last weekend, and they're all covered in seasonal motifs. Seasonal motifs which will fail to be current in less than a month.

Usually I'm so frugal with paper towels that it takes us well over two months to go through an entire roll.

Hell, I'll just send a roll home with Mom. I'm sure she can use it.

Another thing that happened today: remember that baby hat I knitted a few weeks ago for that girl at work? Well, I did. And then I kept forgetting and kept forgetting to bring it in to give to her, and finally I brought it in while she was there picking up a prescription today, by some miracle. Guess what? The hat is too small. We know because we tried it on the baby right then and there. The baby cried. I begged her to stop trying. The hat is too small. As an added kick in the stomach, she said, "I bet it would have fit last week! She's growing so fast!" [Cue sad face.]

So! Contest!

Here's the rules:

1. First person to have a small(ish) baby girl wins a hand-knitted hat!

Doesn't that sound simple? That's cause it is! So go! Procreate! There's a baby hat in it for you!

Hey You Guys!!!

I'm watching The Goonies as I type this, and I'm being bombarded by memories. We had the Disney version growing up, so all of the "naughty" parts were bleeped. (No naked statues for Disney! No, sir!) Everyone has a few movies that they watched constantly as they were growing up, and this is one of them for me. I loved the treasure-hunting aspects, the teensy little romances, and the thrills. As I was searching for a website devoted to it, I found this site, which was obviously made by someone like me. Except these people remembered they loved it.

PS: I love my husband VERY MUCH.

Wednesday, December 6


I'm working on a master list of Christmas candy to make this Sunday with my mom. What, I didn't tell you? Bruce is going on a business trip this Sunday. How grown-up are we? Very Grown Up.

Here's my list of candy and recipes I've found across the web so far. Any glaring holes in my plan? (Except for nuts. I'm not a huge fan of nuts.)


Printed from COOKS.COM

1 1/2 pkg. crushed graham crackers
1/2 c. crunchy peanut butter
1 (3 1/2 oz.) can coconut
1 box powdered sugar
2 sticks melted butter
1 (12 oz.) pkg. chocolate chips
1 block paraffin wax

Mix first five ingredients together and roll into small balls. Melt chocolate chips and paraffin in double boiler. Dip the balls in mixture, one at a time, and place on waxed paper to harden.


Printed from COOKS.COM

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
3/4 cup peanut butter

Put sugar and milk in pan and bring to a boil. Boil two and a half minutes. Remove from heat and add peanut butter and vanilla. Stir just until mixed well.
Pour into greased pan (the smaller the pan, the thicker the fudge will be). Cool and cut.

Submitted by: Jen



1 lb. white chocolate
1 c. peppermint crunch (you can also use crunched peppermints)

Melt white chocolate for one minute in the microwave. Stir in peppermint crunch. Spread on cookie sheet covered with wax paper. Place in freezer until cool (approximately 3 minutes). Break into pieces.


So, that's what I'm thinking about so far. I know I'm a little crazy for being as anti-nut as I am, but them's the breaks. If I think of any really good stuff using nuts, or if I hear a good suggestion, we'll probably make that too. I'd add a recipe for chocolate-covered pretzels, but that's just silly. I'm trying to think of a recipe now, and all I can come up with is 1)Melt some chocolate. 2)Cover pretzels. Anyway, we're making those, too.

Sunday, December 3

Contents Under Pressure

Lately I've noticed that I put a whole lot of pressure on myself that is completely unnecessary. I spend so much time worrying about shit that couldn't possibly matter to anyone but myself, it's ridiculous. And if no one else is going to worry about it, why the hell do I care? So I'm trying to lighten up a bit.

I can remember a few years ago, right around the time that I met Bruce, I concentrated really hard and let myself let go of the things that really don't matter, and I was so incredibly happy and that's when it seemed like everything came together in my life. I lost about forty (doesn't forty always seem like it should have a 'U'?) pounds, I was constantly in a good mood, I was nice to everyone around me, always, and I was totally only seeing the good in people all the time. Plus, everyone loved me. Of course they did, it's so stupid to be surprised by that, but I am. Of course everyone loved me when I was always happy and bubbly and nice to everyone.

For some reason my mind always wants to tell me that it's because I was skinny then that everyone liked me, and for Pete's sake! God, get a grip! People don't like people because they're skinny. They like people because they're nice and fun and happy, that's why they like them. I want to be that nice, fun, happy girl again.

I figure it's only a matter of taking the time to convince myself not to freak out about the tiny things that only matter to me and to just plain act happy and fun and nice, because if I act like I'm all of those things eventually I'll forget that it's all an act and it'll be second nature.

I need to start seeing the everyday humor in the stuff around me, too. Example: Earlier in the evening I had to look on the internet to see if we should take Huck to the vet for his diarrhea, and I came across a really cool website that helped me stop freaking out about it. Here's the website. Anyway, I just came back to the computer to write this entry, and I noticed that the search term I used was "diahhrea dog". Come on, that's pretty funny. Nobody wants to pet that dog. I picture a poor little sickly animal all dripping in poop. Poop is funny. (I was going to lie and claim that I typed in "diarrhea" - correctly spelt - but I figure no one would believe me. I don't believe anyone knows how to spell that word.

I'm also going to start indulging myself in things more often. I'm a hoarder - when I find something I really like, I treasure it and barely use it because I don't want to waste it. I don't know what sense that makes, especially in the case of nice smelling lotions or body wash or something. I love Bath and Body Works' Moonlit Path, but I never ever wear it because I don't want it to go to waste. It's hardly going to waste if I'm smelling nice and I feel better about myself because I know I smell awesome, is it?

My other neurosis about using stuff like that is somehow I think that if I smell great all the time that it'll stop being special, or that if I forget then Bruce will be upset or something. That's so ridiculous I don't even need to dignify it with a response. (Did you notice how I'm totally having a strange sort of agruement with myself here?) I'm so weird about stuff like that, and it's time to stop. I need to just let myself enjoy things. I'm going to try to do that.