Friday, November 30


RIP NaBloPoMo!

I'm not going to write anything down for six years, I think. I kid. I'm actually liking having a record of at least one thing going through my mind for an entire month. It's sort of nice to look back, even on the bad months.

Thursday, November 29

Day 29

I told my moving buddy that I'd be ready to go at 6:00, so this is all the posting I'll get done today, chances are. I need a shower before he gets here.

Wednesday, November 28

Day 28:

Drunk MySpacing is probably the worst and best thing that can happen to a person. Mostly the worst, though. Definitely mostly the worst.

I reconnected with an old friend last night, and it was the eerie connection thing like we've always had. Very strange, but also kind of familiar, you know?

My new favorite thing I've ever said: "Wow. I'm so thoughtful! I can't believe how thoughtful I am. What were you thinking?"

The responder responded with silence. The responder has no idea what the responder was thinking, and the responder regrets it deeply.

Tuesday, November 27

Day 27

Most of my kitchen is now sitting in a storage facility in town. There it will remain until I'm ready to use it again, whenever that may be. The shed is only 10x10, so we'll see how much we can wedge in there. Hopefully, we won't have to use any of the Lake's garage, because the less explaining to do, the better.

I was not the talk of the Thanksgiving table, as I had feared. But we also didn't have our full Kiddie Table set up, and Mom joined us instead. As I whispered to Robby as she sat down, "Having a mom here totally negates the whole Kiddie Table magic." Then I spent enough of supper looking longingly at our missing member to get a kick under the table for being obvious.

Soon, the cats will move. Then goes the dog, and then goes me. Hopefully we get the rest of my stuff, as well.

Monday, November 26

Day 26

It is late, I am sleepy.

As one of my kids would say, "Go A Bed!"

Sunday, November 25

#1 On my List

Dear Santa,

I've been very good this year, excepting a few big setbacks to my lifeline, and I would really love to get a Nintendo DS for Christmas. Please? I was ever-so-good to my brother, we didn't fight, not even that one time over that one boy! I always recycle, and this year I started using homemade laundry detergent and bought the expensive but not-petrolium-based dishwashing liquid! And I didn't even yell at my mom when she used the whole bottle to do my dishes one day! So, in conclusion, I feel I totally deserve this as my present for Christmas.

Good luck this next month!


PS: I'll totally leave you some cookies. Do you want them shaped like yourself? Because I always thought that was a little borderline canibalistic, to be honest.

Saturday, November 24

Random, Day 24

Today I woke up at 6:00AM to my dog pitter-pattering (remind me to clip his toenails, would you?) on the kitchen floor of the Lake House, whining all the way. I was upstairs and he was barricaded in the down, and he didn't like that. I went downstairs to try to lull him to sleep, laying on the pull-out couch with my brother for 15 minutes before realizing, "Hey, you should just take my bed upstairs. Dur." And off he went. He didn't pitter-patter, though. He clips his toenails regularly.

I called Todd to get Lee Ann's number and, just like on the first time I called, he reversed two of the first three digits. It created a large deja-vu sensation, but I dialed the way he told me anyway, because it's in my nature to think I'm wrong before anyone else is, only to get the same message I'd gotten that first time -- this number has been disconnected. Unlike the first time, I didn't panic, instead calling back, reversing those two digits, and Lee Ann answered right away. Silly me, I should trust myself.

I just finished reading "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim," by David Sedaris, and I'm in complete agreement with all of the reviews (which I also read, which I never read), he is incredibly poignant and also a comic genius. I am in love.

I am still wondering about the wedding VCR, but I'm leaning toward shipping it to Bruce. I would still like a copy of the video, and he's got the equipment to burn it onto DVD.

I drove Robby as far as Sheboygan, about half-way between here and Milwaukee. We met Tony, ate at Perkins (for the second time in one day) and then went to Target, where Robby dashed around like a madman in a panic to find some deals he was too lazy to catch yesterday. I left feeling unfulfilled. I have an embarrassing crush on Tony, who does not play for my team. Or the opposite team? Something. He's not in my league, in any case. I am in awe of him. Too bad for my vagina.

Huck is finally dressed in his new 'outfit', the collar and leash I bought him last time I went to Target. I'm not sure it fits him entirely, but it's definitely very adorable. We'll see how I like it as the week wears on, maybe I'll buy him a different set and keep these aside for my next dog. Can't you just imagine me picking out a dog on the basis of whether it will be the right size and color to fit this collar? I can. Luckily, I forgive myself for things like this.

Friday, November 23


If you didn't know, I'm moving in exactly one week. So my posts are apt to be short and meaningful on good days, and just short on the others. At least until this business is taken care of.

Status report: I'm almost done packing Bruce's things.

Thursday, November 22

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm making green bean casserole as I type. It smells like Thanksgiving.

I'm also sitting in my office listening to songs that I shouldn't be, songs that shouldn't be sad, really, and yet they are.

I saw an old neighbor at the bar last night, and it's possible I made him sad. I feel bad about that. I'd say I can't be held responsible for how I was last night, but I can. And I feel it. Damn.

Happy Turkey Day!

Wednesday, November 21


I made up a new game with one of the kids I work with today. Let me tell you the story of how the day went, first. I arrived at the house at noon as scheduled, and we spent the first part of the day as usual: go fish, snack, attempt at a nap (he refused, but was nice about it).

Then we invented a new game, called "Teamwork". It involves one person holding open their mouth while the other person attempts to chuck a piece of cereal into it. We like it because it involves eating (we're both fond) and gross motor skills (I'm trying to teach).

There's a little problem, though. I'm worried about what the other therapist will say. I don't think the game is wrong, or that it isn't useful (basically any game can be made into therapy, especially if you teach manners and good language along with it), but because I don't think it'll appeal to her. She's not the type, you know?

I'm just hoping that his description of the game will be nonsensical enough to get me off the hook. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Tuesday, November 20


Who gets the wedding VCR?

Monday, November 19

Day 19

I almost forgot to blog tonight, I was so busy being a mass of raging hormones and bitchiness. I actually crawled out of bed in the hopes of winning a prize. I hope you're happy, NaBloPoMo.

Sunday, November 18

Tupperware? TupperHERE!

Tupperware, here I come.

I know, I know, after the candle party I told everyone I wouldn't do it again, it was too stressful and almost not worth it and I've still got most of those candles in the boxes they came in, but... Well, I like candles more in theory than in practice. I like Tupperware in practice!

At the party I won a free thing specifically for keeping 1/2 an onion in your fridge, which is handy. I bought some measuring spoons, the ones that will sit on the counter without tipping over. They were $10.00 in the bulk bin, but she accepted my $7.00. Had I known I could haggle with her, I might have tried it on more stuff.

I went to the party at my brother's house, and my cousin was there sitting with me on the couch. I was half-hungover, and I was the class-clown of the party, making snarky comments and all. Somebody thought it would be a good idea to buy me a peppermint mocha before I went, and I think that contributed to the hyper. I could *not* stop talking. It was I was replaced by a really funny robot whose only function was to talk. I was embarrassed at myself as it was happening, but I couldn't stop. The words, they just kept spilling from my mouth! It was insane!

Part of what caused me such humor was sitting next to Cousin and realizing at the same moment as she did that practically all of our toys growing up were Tupperware toys. Yeah, we had them all -- the stencils, the plastic ball with cut-outs to put shapes through. We had one of the horns that you pound on something and a ball goes flying out from! That one was definitely the best of the bunch. It made me want to buy that for somebody. Anybody. Heck, I want one for myself again.

Anyway, the party's on January 20th. And you're invited!

Would you like to buy some Tupperware?

Saturday, November 17

Twittering about Twittering

My brother: Tupperwhere? TupperHERE!!!

We could never be as amusing to other people as we are to each other. Too bad we're related and find each other completely unattractive. Alas, it was never meant to be.

Friday, November 16

Day 16: Cop-Out Post

Your Score: A heartbeat he has

You 're at 94% vital signs!

You're really close to becoming an EMT, in fact you may already be in class now. If not? What are you waiting for? With a little bit more knowledge and learning you might be able to make on heck of an emt! But just wait till the harder stuff kicks in, I just gave you a taste of the waters. This was the easy stuff, can you handle it?

Link: The Could you be a Medic/EMT Test written by crow-girl on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I scored pretty well on this test, and that's where I think my skills lie: in being able to fake my way through a test, pretending I know the answers. This worked VERY well for me in high school, and moderately well in college (when I went to class). You know that nightmare that most college kids have at one point, the one where they show up to a final and realize when they get there that they haven't been to the class all semester? I lived it, more than once. And I did surprisingly well, considering!

Thursday, November 15


This is the longest week in history. Next week will be the shortest, and the the week after that will be cruel, because it will beat this weeks record for longest week ever. I'm skipping right past looking forward to next week, into dreading the week after that. There's something depressingly pessimistic about the mindset I'm in right now. It's a little crazy. Stupid menses.

So yeah! I'm making the Green Bean Casserole for Thanksgiving this year. Yeah, that's right. I'm the Green Bean Casserole Bringer. It's a title of reverance, because one year somebody (I'm not naming names... We'll call her Dant Aebby) made it using frozen green beans, and didn't cook it long enough to cook them. We ate raw green beans in a sea of mushroom soup that year, and none of us will ever forget it. Ever since that fateful year, Dant Aebbie brings the rolls. (Store-bought.) Everyone is happier. Especially those relatives too polite to not clean their plates. (Not I, I will happily zip past you and scrape into the garbage. If you can't be honest with your relatives, who can you be honest with? Although I'd probably fib on the exact reason. "Oh, guess I'm just not in a bean mood!" or something similar.)

Does your family engage in the "Who eats first?" dance?

Wednesday, November 14

Day 14

I was talking to a guy from a dating site last night before bed, and my final advice to him was, "Don't get your girlfriend pregnant."

Which, believe me, is sound advice, but still. Something wrong there.

Tuesday, November 13

My Responces:

Call it an experiment. I texted the same tongue twister to five people today. Here are the responces I got:


"As much as a woodchuck could chuck wood."

"I dunno... Ten pounds per day per kilogram of the woodchuck's body weight?"

and my personal favorite:


Monday, November 12

12 Emails?

TWELVE? I haven't had twelve emails since I started having a "junk" email address. Since I started using Gmail. Since I've had a freaking spam filter.

Dear Megan,

Please stop sending me forwards.


Your co-worker from four years ago.

Sunday, November 11

Day 11

I almost started a brawl last night. Yeah, that's something to make me ashamed for quite a while.

I might get a roommate instead of moving out. I'll talk to my landlord later.

I got most of my stuff straightened out for work, and actually called in my hours this week. I feel like a rockstar.

Luckily, my schedule is the same on Monday as it always has been, because my other days are all messed up. I need to double check when the people think I'm coming to their houses.

Can we say disjointed post? Stupid NaBloPoMo. Stupid posting when hungover. Stupid self.

Last month a stranger came up to someone I was with at the bar and asked her if she knew that I had "giant hooters". At least I'm not that stupid.

Saturday, November 10

Nephew Meeting Day

That's the official title for today. From henceforth, all second Saturdays of the eleventh month shall be known as Nephew Meeting Day.

Can you tell I'm excited? I'm bringing my camera, so I can share him with you guys. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

So when I took the dog out this morning, as every morning, I didn't even put shoes on my feet, just wrangled him out there and gave him his food and stumbled back into the house. Except this time, I'd somehow managed to lock the door on my way out. Don't ask me how it happened, it just did.

I tried the front door too, but that one was locked as well. (Bruce, you taught me well. Remind me to thank you. Ahem.) So I was faced with some options. There's the stuck-up lawyer across the street (no thank you), the strangers with the loud mentally disabled guy I went to school with kiddy-corner (um, I'd rather not), and the hot neighbor*. I of course chose the hot neighbor.

(My neighbor is alarmingly hot. Lisa (of Lisa and Todd) and I have been watching her all summer long. One time we were driving to the house having a great conversation and we passed her and there was silence, because we were both checking her out. She is pretty, but most of all she's got a fantastic booty and she's always walking down our road for excercise while reading her book. Oh, and on top of it all, she's from a foreign country and has a very interesting accent. We've been speculating on her and discussing her for months now.)

I knocked on the door, not really expecting anyone to answer (did I mention this was at 8:30?), but she came right to the door. Not in sweat pants, like I was, but in actual jeans-and-sweater clothes she was going to wear for the day. She tells me that yes, of course I can use her phone, so I call my mom. (She's got the spare key, and will be with me in a few minutes.) As I hang up the phone, HN offers me a cappuccino. Yeah, I know. I accept, and she offers me toast. I try to say no, but she's just too hospitable. I can't resist.

After a few minutes, I introduce myself, "Oh, by the way, I'm Sarah." She laughs, "Oh, I know that." I look confused, we haven't actually met before, I'm sure I'd remember. She says, "I used to work with your friend at Walmart... Todd."

Lisa is going to die.

Friday, November 9

Day 9

I think I was supposed to send something in to work, some form? Something I had to sign? By today, but I didn't. Yep, that sucks.

I rented six movies, including Ratatouille, which I'm going to watch right now. As they put in a new driveway. Yeah, that's right. My landlord noticed I needed the potholes in my gravel fixed the month before I move out. Convenient, eh?

I'm contemplating buying my parent's house from them. So we'll see how that goes.

Thursday, November 8


I was looking through all of my various website pictures yesterday, and I stumbled across this beauty. Now, it's labeled "Untitled-1" so I can't glean from the title what was going on in my head, but maybe one of you can help me out. Anybody?


Wednesday, November 7


I'm starting at a new house tomorrow. New house, new kid. I'm a little nervous, because one of the girls I trained with used to work at this house, and I think it might be part of the reason she quit. I don't know, all I can do is keep an open mind and help as much as possible and ask the boss if I have any concerns. Shouldn't be too hard, as the boss is a girl I went to school with for 13 years. Actually, I called her tonight on the way home to tell her a story. Today I said to Huck, in all seriousness, "Use your words!"

Yeah, that's a work phrase. Doesn't so much work on the non-verbal.

I'm feeling restless because I don't think I've done much lately. I'm bored with my usual (watch TV alone, go to work, read alone, go to bed alone) and I don't know how to fix it. Or the ways I can think of to fix it aren't appealing right now. The easy way out would be to find someone to spend some time with, maybe even doing the same things I'm already doing, but I can't think of anybody I want to do those things with. And I can't have anybody over, because the house is trashed. But who wants to clean the house? It all seems like so much work. I think I'm falling into a funk. I'm lonely, I guess. People have had this problem for millenia. Maybe I should suck it up.

Day 7

The time is drawing nearer when I'm moving back to my parents' house. I know most of you are probably cringing at the very idea, but I think it's the best decision for me right now. I want to pay off some of the debt that's been riding along with me for almost 10 years (student loans, ha. What good did being a student ever do me?) and then save up some money. I hope to someday buy a house, and it's not going to happen before those two things get done.

I like my parents, but I'm worried about some things. Things like my animals. Specificially, Huck. He's very naughty, and my parents let him get away with it. I'm going to have to specifically put down some ground rules so he doesn't turn into the world's worst dog while we're living there.


1. No people food.

2. No people food. No matter how cute he looks.

3. If people food falls to the floor and he snatches it, either ignore him completely and let him think he's sneakier than he is, or shout at him and shake a spoon or something to make him think you're really mad that he ate the people food. Do not make squealy noises or otherwise indicate that you're secretly pleased he got away with something.

4. It's not cute when he jumps up into your face. No matter what your brain is telling you. Don't let him do it. No excuses.

5. Don't make him think he is the most important part of your day. Even if he is. He shouldn't be. He's a dog.

I'm sure there are more. I'm getting antsy thinking about it. This will be ok, right? RIGHT?

Tuesday, November 6

Day 6

I knew I almost forgot something.

Last week, I forgot to call in my hours in the automated system. Which is not a huge problem, because I will get paid for them. What I need to do in order to be paid is to email one of the people higher on the totem pole my hours so that she may enter them into the system manually. This means admitting my own incompetence, and I hate it very much. I'm avoiding it because I hate it. If I avoid it much longer, I might have problems getting paid. What am I, an ostrich?

In other news, I have to pack up Bruce's things in two 30lb. boxes and send them off with UPS to his new house. Which, as you might imagine, previous to a few months ago, was not something I ever pictured myself doing. Ever.

Monday, November 5

Rough Day?

Today is my "long day" at work. I leave the house around 7:30 and get back at 7:45. I'm getting used to it, and there's really no reason it should stress me out the way it does. I'm getting better, though. Last month, I worried about getting enough sleep on Sunday night all weekend long. Yesterday, I worried about it off and on from 3:30 until bedtime. Sigh. See? It's getting better.

I'm going to try to wean myself off of gas station cappuccino. It can't be good for me. But you see, there's a gas station right on my drive to work, and I always leave too early like a paranoid worrier and end up realizing I've got some time to kill just as I pass that place. Plus, it's good and I am weak.

We'll see how that goes, too. Lisa's been on this health kick, and although I hate being on a health kick, I think she's starting to drag me down with her. Damn you for wanting to be healthy! I spent $60 at the grocery store last Friday. Why is it that healthy food costs so much more? It's a conspiracy.

Sunday, November 4

What Time is it?

I am so lost. The clocks got changed last night, right? Nobody told me, so I'm a little confused. Is it really 12:17? PM? Just checking.

I almost forgot to post today. It's going to be a long month.

My house is a mess. I need to clean, but it's hard when every time you turn around, there's a kitten knocking the plants off the shelves. And lasagna being made willy-nilly.

Yeah, I made lasagna last night, and it is amazing. My first try. Very good stuff. (I'm really glad I like it, because I'm going to be eating it for at least a week.) I made it with some of my homemade sauce, and I think that made the biggest difference. It is seriously excellent.

Friday, November 2

Day 2

Last night, I tried signing up for NaBloPoMo, and I think the ads on the page were messing with me. It just didn't work. I'm hoping to give it another shot today, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I haven't blogged in so long that it's going to take a little while for me to get back into the swing of things. Another problem is that many of the things going on in my life are feeling more personal than usual, or more painful. I'm not used to serious blogging, I've always been more of a superficial blogger. I could continue along that path, but it would feel like I was ignoring the serious things that are going on right now. It's going to be a little touch-and-go.

Down the street from me, they tore up the road to put in a new culvert this morning. I didn't hear a word about it until Lisa picked me up to go to Clintonville, and then the workerman seemed really put upon that we were driving through. Well, fella, if you're going to tear up a dead-end road, you might want to give the people who live at the end a little notice before you remove their only way out. I'm just sayin'.

I'm almost done with the "His Dark Materials" trilogy of books, and I will be letting you know what I think of them at the end. Although, right now? Go read them, and then we can dish. I like them.

Thursday, November 1

Welcome to NaBloPoMo!

I will be participating this year for the second year running, if only to pull myself out of my anti-blogging funk by my bootstraps. (I don't actually own boots, so it might be harder than it sounds.)

I know I haven't been blogging very much, but part of the reason behind that is because although this blog is very much my own, I started it mere hours before I met my husband, Bruce. And we're not together anymore. I'm sure I'll get into that more as the month goes on, but it's your basic story. Painful, for sure, but I'm not the first to go through it and I will sadly not be the last. I hope we can be life-long friends, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make that happen.

But it sucks.

On that note, I start my posting for the month. Enjoy! Doom and Gloom! I'm sure you'll be back for more of this!