Neighborhood Beasts:

• Red-Winged Blackbirds
• Bunny Rabbits
• Squirrels
• Porcupine(s) (Only 1 witnessed so far.)
• Chickadees
• Wild Turkey  (Not the whiskey, the bird.  We've found feathers.)
• Bald Eagles
• Ticks

I'm not too thrilled about that last one.  

Things that Vexed Me Lately:

- When people put up a recipe for homemade bread online, say at cooks.com or at allrecipes.com and the instructions read, "Put ingredients into breadmaker in order suggested by your manufacturer," and continue on to read, "Select the settings for wheat bread, dark crust." I realize that breadmaker bread is homemade, but shouldn't the instructions then be under the heading "breadmaker bread"? I don't have a freaking breadmaker, and my hands didn't come with a manufacturer's suggestion for adding ingredients. Unfortunately.

- I can't finish my knitting projects. I have six million (more like five, actually) dishcloths waiting for the ends to be woven in. I have one broadripple sock that has existed for more than one year. I have one brand spanking new embossed leaves sock that I can't wait to knit the pair to, but I'm having the damnedest time kitchenering the toe. That would have to mean I'd have to look something up. How lazy is that?

- The flatbread I made on Sunday was a little blah.

- Aldi didn't have any sour cream.

- I can't stay out any later than Bruce does, and Bruce lately decides he wants to go home right when I'm at the point where I want to stay out and be drinking forever. (When we do go out, which is twice a month or slightly less.) It's not that I can't stay out if I want to, it's that I end up being sad because Bruce isn't there to talk to and oh my god why can't I be one of those cool womyn who don't give a shit? but Bruce is my favorite person and I miss him when he's gone and then I turn into that girl who's drinking and on the verge of tears. It ain't pretty.

- The Linus knocked over a bottle of water on my desk last week, and it was all my fault for leaving the bottle untopped, and I hate that it's all my fault because the water shorted out my keyboard and now I'm using B's old one, which is nice but just not... you know... matchy.

- I can never keep up with my own mess. I clean the hell out of everything, but then I turn around and am making bread which takes a long time doesn't really leave me in the mood for cleaning, what with all that kneading and stuff.

- My coworker had surgery last week and I've been working a lot. Not as much as last week, when I'd been scheduled for several ten hour days, which let's just say I got up the balls to put the kibosh to, but a lot. For me, anyway. I'm hoping to make tons of money and pay off our taxes right away this year. You know, after paying off the ones from last year. (cough)

- We've got other things to pay for too.

- The fact that I'm a whiney cow for writing down everything that's making me unhappy, when really I'm very damn happy and have no right to be making a pissed list. Ha! That rhymed. See?

Sick

It goes like this:

It all starts with a scratchy throat.

Then you lose your voice a bit.

Then you get a headache.

Then you run to the bathroom and don't come out for a few hours.

Then you throw up.

Or, if you're a dog, it goes like this:

It all starts with a trip to the farm.

You notice a yummy substance on the ground.

Mama yells at you, "STOP EATING THE CHICKEN SHIT!"

You ignore her.

Then your tummy hurts and you want to GO OUTSIDE all of the time.

One time you even GO OUTSIDE in your crate.

That makes you cry.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

We're all sick around these parts. All of us. Even Linus tossed his kibble on the carpet in the hallway. It's not a good day in our house.

Things I'd be Thankful for, Come Christmas

• Plain-Colored Yarn from knitpicks.


• Good Tea, and a Method to Making Good Tea. If someone were to buy me this, they should use my gift certificate for $5.00 off. Email me for the code. (I promise to do my best to act surprised when I open it.)


• A good computerized sewing machine. I have so many grand ideas in my head about being an excellent seamstress, but unfortunately none of them can come true by wishing hard enough. Damn wishing. If only it were more effective.


• Acid dyes, for dying fabrics or yarn. Knitpicks has a good set of starter dye that I'm interested in.

When You Write a Post Everyday, You Run Out of Clever Ideas for Titles

Last night was one of those terrible nights of drinking. I didn't feel all happy drunk, but I knew I was intoxicated and I could tell I was being annoying, and it made me mad at myself and I totally should have just gone home but my brother is in town and I didn't want to leave him there alone. That sucked.

We totally found all five gay people who live in this town.

This morning, we visited a house that's for rent by the lake, and the lady offered it to us. Just like that.

The house is pink, and we're taking it. $460/month, three bedroom, huge-ass shed in the back that could fit an army of cars (seriously, at least four), and best of all it's by the lake. There's a trail in the back leading into the woods behind the shed, and if you follow it down, you come out by the lake. It's pretty cool. I'm making grand plans for bird feeders.

The first bedroom we're using as a bedroom, the second as an office, and the third is up for grabs. I'm going to lobby for a crafting/reading/quiet reflection room for myself.

In other news, I have terrible posture and if I keep slouching all the time, I'm going to end up a hunchback. There's a pretty picture, right? I'm trying to correct that.

Baked cookies tonight, chocolate chip. I wanted to get ambitious and make some good ones, but ended up using the recipe on the back of the bag like always. Not as tasty as my molasses cookies from a couple of weeks ago, but still good standbys. I baked them a little too long for most people's tastes, but for some reason I like my chocolate chips bordering on burnt. It's just how I roll, baby.

Oh yeah, it freaking SNOWED here! I bet you weren't expecting that - I know I sure wasn't. All last week it was in the high fifties, and then BAM! we're walloped by a few inches of sticking snow. You should have seen Huckleberry. He wasn't even sure about going outside until Bruce did it first and showed him it was alright. Then it was all typical dog - running around and romping in the fluffy white stuff.

Bruce told me an amusing story about Huck in the snow. Huck's so low to the ground that when he squats to "make water"* his wee is almost on the ground. Well, yesterday, the ground was covered in cold white stuff. He would walk a few steps, squat, get a really surprised look on his face and stand right back up without going. He went through this at least three more times before he hit pay dirt - a patch of snow that was already been trampled down. Too cute.

*I love that term.

We've got some pictures of him in the snow, but the camera is upstairs and so you'll have to wait for tomorrow's post to get them. Have a happy rest of the weekend!