Subversive?

Here's an interesting essay. Via mimi smartypants.

Sometimes I must just look at something, see the title, and think to myself, "My, this will infuriate the husband!" Then I show him. I didn't even read the essay yet. I'm ashamed of myself.

Coincidence

This morning I had a dream that we were babysitting Jessica's oldest boy.  We watched him all day, and then when the time came for him to be picked up, they drove into the yard in a Giant Truck, and I panicked.  What was I going to say to her?  "She's so awesome", and "why the heck did she let me watch her kid in the first place and I hope she's not expecting me to talk about interesting things or, you know, be coherent", and I freaked out a little bit.  Plus, for some reason I was not wearing a bra, and I was extremely self-conscious.  But!  Instead of putting on a bra, I really wanted to talk to her, so I decided to go outside and talk anyway.  

(Side note:  One time when I was just barely "blossoming", I'd say around twelve years old, my brother and I went to see Beauty and the Beast in the movie theater.  We were getting our snacks when I noticed I was feeling weird. Something wasn't right. It took me a few minutes, but right when we were picking out our candy I realized that I wasn't wearing a bra. I was sure that everyone could tell and was thinking to themselves, "What a sloppy little girl, she's probably a slut, she should know better!" and generally gave myself a meltdown about it all. Really, what sort of asshole would think that about a little girl going to see a Disney movie? Really? And what kind of perv is looking at my twelve-year-old nubbins to begin with? That's just sick. But it's been a sort of background terror for me ever since. I'm not exactly built to go braless.)

So, I went outside to talk to Jessica and meet the rest of the family, and right then my mom and dad pull up and Bruce comes outside and they all start talking and I'm too terrified of being boring or someone noticing that I'm not wearing a bra that I don't say anything so as not to draw attention to myself and - how silly is this whole thing? - that's what I do.
Then I woke up.

In a fit of list-checking-off, I go to Google Reader to get through over 50 posts that I haven't read yet. I get to Kerflop and merrily read my way through a few posts and have to blink a few crazy times and do various tests to make sure I'm not dreaming and there you go. She linked to my blog in her sidebar. How crazy is that?

I love you, internet.

Neighborhood Beasts:

• Red-Winged Blackbirds
• Bunny Rabbits
• Squirrels
• Porcupine(s) (Only 1 witnessed so far.)
• Chickadees
• Wild Turkey  (Not the whiskey, the bird.  We've found feathers.)
• Bald Eagles
• Ticks

I'm not too thrilled about that last one.  

Surgery

Tomorrow, I'm going to accompany my parents while my dad has surgery on his rotator cuff. I'm nervous for the usual surgery reasons, but also because a few years ago Dad had a stroke and he's been on Plavix (blood thinner) and baby aspirin (blood thinner) ever since, and he was instructed earlier in the week to stop taking both of those medications. I didn't know that and like a fool, kept asking him to do things for me.

Case in point: Last week, I mentioned to Dad that it'd be a good time to see what's wrong with my car, because something has been wrong with it since before we spent extra to tow it from Missouri to Wisconsin. He took a look, and now we're almost sure it can be narrowed down to one of six things we originally thoiught might be the problem with it.  We'll know for sure when someone else gives it a look. Turns out, I might have very well been right in my first assessment, a year ago: Damn, the car's broken. It might not be worth it to fix it.

After Dad dropped off all of the dirt and the trailer it came on, Bruce unloaded it, despite screaming back-muscles.  How fantastic is my husband?  More fantastic than is easily explainable.  He's inexplicable.  I'm so lucky.

The Possibilities are Endless

I quit my job. I put in my notice two weeks and four days ago, and that makes this my third full day off. It feels awesome. I don't know what I'm planning to do in the future, but the luxury of having a wonderfully supportive and enthusiastic person living with you who believes in you 100% no-matter-what and thinks you're doing the right thing is... well, you can imagine.

In the meantime, the time between now and when I'm starting work again somewhere, I'm going to take care of some things that are on my (endless, ever-growing) list. (The biggest irony about the list is that although I'm constantly worried about where I am on the list, most of the time I can't remember half of the items. I don't think I'm the only one with this problem.) I'm going to plant the seeds that are in my extra bedroom growing in peat. I'm going to clean the house and get in the habit of keeping it that way for longer stretches. I'm going to start walking every day. I'm going to keep up on the laundry, and maybe find a place to put it all when it's clean. I'm going to read. I'm going to continue to learn to cook. Most importantly, I'm going to become more eco-friendly.

I'm starting with the last one. I want to stop using chemicals around the house, and make my detergents and cleaners. This weekend I made my own laundry detergent. I took the recipe I got at Modern Cottage and made both the detergent and the laundry rinse. It was fun, it was cheap, and I'm excited because I found all of the ingredients here in town, in one store. Pick'n Save saved me again. I used a lemon essential oil, which I found at a natural goods/religious store in our town.

I've been using the homemade laundry detergent the last couple of days and I'm amazed. Our clothes smell cleaner than I can ever remember clothes smelling. I'm sure it's a combination of a lack of heavy gross perfumes and the fact that the crap actually rinses out, but knowing the reason isn't making it any less amazing. I love having clean clothes. These clothes are very clean and smell so fresh and nice!

The greatest thing is that when I was buying the ingredients, I over-bought. Now I have three extra batches just waiting to be made, batches that I'm going to give to my family and friends along with the recipe. There's no reason that other people shouldn't be using this stuff when it's so easy and so much better for them. One cousin in particular has two people with really sensitive skin in her family, and I have a feeling this will be a lifesaver. I can't wait to share this with people. (Just to be extra eco-happy, I'm giving this stuff away in old coffee containers.)

So, that's what I'm up to! Not working, but working, in a totally satisfying way. Rest assured, when it stops being satisfying, I'll find some place willing to pay me for my sparkling wit and dazzling good looks. I hope I get some of this other stuff done first, and some relaxation taken care of too.

Keyboard Drama

stupid electrical wires, and other stuff. The quick brown fox jumped over the something creek or some other water source. I'm going to bed. So what if I spilt wine over the fucking keyboard? Everything seems fine! So far.

All of that,

When really, this:



Was probably my favorite song for many years. Up until the New Kids on the Block, that is. And, truth be told, I didn't think they were the greatest, either.

I was a follower. Sue me.

Best Friend

My best friend in grade school was a girl named Marybeth. I have to admit, one of my least attractive qualities growing up was a complete inability to voice my own opinion on things. So when she said that this:



...was her favorite song, I promptly declared it MY favorite song, as well. But when she declared this:



her favorite song, a few months later, I told my first fib. Because although I claimed that to be my favorite song as well, I secretly vowed that the first song would be my most favorite song forever.

Honestly, the hair still does it for me. How can you deny E.C.?

I Want a New Cat

And yet, everyday at about the same time, you can hear me cursing the cat we have. Most likely, I'm saying, "Damn you cat! Insert those claws into yourself in a most sensitive spot!" or, "Why do you love me when I hate you so much?!" but to be honest, I really do love this cat. The only problem is that we fixed him too late and his hormones make him hate me about 1/2 of the month. If I were fixed, maybe I wouldn't hate 1/2 the people I meet as much. But then again, my species uses tools, so I win. My prize is keeping my sexual organs intact. Woo-hoo.

I want a cat who loves to be petted, and not only when he feels he needs it. I want a cat who will show affection without crazy amounts anger afterwards. I want a nice cat.

I bought the new Sims game, "The Sims Life Stories" and I'm finding it amusing. Let me know if you find any tricks or anything. It's bothering me that I can't find a diagonal flower patch that will match my window box. If you hadn't already discovered that I'm getting old, you can think so now with my permission. I'm old and proud! Not only do I want my Sim to have a window box, I want my Sim to have a window box with flowers that fit into the space around it perfectly!

It's very strange to me that I'm the one wishing for another cat and Bruce is the one wanting another puppy, but that's the way things work, I suppose. Huck is undeniably my dog, and Linus favors Bruce. I want a cat of my own and Bruce wants a little dog he can carry around in his purse. It'll be very manly, wait and see.

Lists

Stuff that kept me up last night:

- Where's Bruce?

- Do I want to go to my grade school reunion? If I go, do you think anyone will remember that I stole a (cool mechanical) pencil from the most popular girl in second grade? Or that I got caught because I was the worst criminal ever? Why am I suddenly remembering this after 20 years?

- I wonder if the cookie dough in my freezer is ok. How long does cookie dough stay good when frozen? If I take the sugar cookie dough and the chocolate sugar cookie dough and roll them together, I could make spiral cookies.

(after a few hours of sleep)

- Where's Bruce?

Stuff that didn't keep me up last night:

- Man, I'm so sad I quit my job. I feel so guilty.

(PS: Bruce was sleeping on the couch, because that's where he landed when he fell - asleep.)