Wednesday, June 7

Sharp

We decided that Wednesday night was as good of a night as any for some cutting of the Linus Claws of Death. We kept them around for a while after we got the puppy so that he could defend himself when necessary, but it has come to my attention that the puppy is whining almost as much as the cat when they tousle, and the cat is a whiney bitch who will yelp if Huck looks at him from across the room. Oh, excuse me. What I meant to say, of course, is that Linus The Great has a very delicate and sensitive emotional balance, and that the glaring eyes of Ze Beaste can cause some real damage. I tried explaining to him that those eyes weren't exactly "glaring" in as much as they were "sadly imploring", but he was insistant. Glaring, it is.

Ahem.

So when Linus was sitting on Bruce's chest on Wednesday night, recieving some love, I decided it was a perfect time to clip the Claws of Death.

So we're clipping his nails:

Sarah: Wow, Linus, your claws are SUPER LONG AND SHARP!

Bruce: Jesus, cat! Look at those things!

Linus: I sharpen zem on ze hide of ze beaste.

[Note: Sentances in italics are not actually spoken by the cat, but by either Bruce or myself in lieu of a talking cat. Does anyone else talk for their pets? Linus has a generic european trash accent (think french with a dash of italian, maybe? Huck speaks in a very low, very southern drawl.]

4 comments:

Jess said...

I wish the cats and puppy would play. Instead, there's a whole lot of hissing and barking and ignorning.

LostNotFound1980 said...

All of my animals have human voices.

But I am insane

sunny said...

That's reassuring.

B said...

I read this at work yesterday and laughed out loud.

I did the same thing today.

Good stuff.