Wednesday, March 19


I had a terrible art teacher in high school.

I guess I have a looser definition of art than a lot of people, I tend to think of it only as "beautiful thing someone created". Her definition of art was a little more defined than that, and she wanted us to use specific techniques and materials and conform to her standards of what a thing "should" be or look like. I took a couple of ceramics classes too, and he was the same way. I am very... free-spirited? When it comes to the things I find attractive. And I take it hard when someone doesn't think the thing I think is attractive is attractive.

All of this is a little bit of an explanation about why I'm so nervous about using the pastels and sketchbook I bought last weekend to actually create something. I have a fear that I will be "wasting" the materials on, well, crap.

Even if it's crap, though, it's crap I created. And it might not be beautiful, but it probably won't be ugly, either. I can make pretty things.

Maybe not as amazing as the stuff the kids and I create, but pretty enough to share, maybe. That's putting the horse in front of the carrot, though. First I have to convince myself that it's not a "waste" to use my new art materials.

I have to admit, though, that part of my hesitation is simply because I am enjoying the anticipation so much. Though I was never particularly good at art, I certainly did always love pastels.

Mmm, the schmeariness of them.

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