I Love That Feeling

No, not the one when you decide that you have, indeed, had the perfect amount of beers for the night.

No, not the moment when the Straight Guy walks into his brand-spanking-newly-decorated house, and the gay guys all decide that since he's vulnerable with his eyes covered, they can make fun of/hit on him all they want.

No, not the moment at the end of the show, when they give Super Helpful Tips that Us Straight Folks would never dream of. (Although that runs a close second.)

Not even the moment when a friend you've had for a long time but haven't hung out with in months invites you over for a drink or two and wants to reinact the "everyone's enjoying the playstation game but Sunny, who doesn't so much mind, now that she's getting to hang out with the great friend for the first time in forever" moments we've all been missing out on. But that one's a close 1.5. (Seriously, tonight rocked!)

It's the moment when everyone's trying to figure out where a movie quote came from, and I'm the one who finally gives in to pressures and searches online and finds out that not only is it not Edward Norton who says it in a movie, but he's not even in the movie where it was said. But it's still an awesome quote, don't get me wrong. And then I get to go into the other room and be all knowing, and hold them in suspence for a few seconds and (completely) relish the moment. Don't you love that feeling?

I know I do.

Oh, the quote?

Yeah, something like..

Are you calling me on the cellular phone? I don't know you. Who is this? Don't come here, I'm hanging up the phone! Prank caller, prank caller!

Note(s) to Self:

1. Please find somewhere in Milwaukee to live that has sidewalks. And by sidewalks, I mean the sort of sidewalks where one can walk without feeling like a crackhead or prostitute. You know, for exercise.

2. Your husband is the greatest, and most loveable, and most perfect person you know. Please let him know that more often. Also, wish him well on his two (count 'em, T.W.O.) job interviews tomorrow. Not that he'll need it, because he's Coolness Personified, unlike self, which is more like.. Napping Personified, or something equally less-than-perfect. Love husband much.

3. Next time you see downstairs-neighbor-guys, make sure and give our phone number. They're moving to a spectacular duplex, and who doesn't want to go to a housewarming party? I SURE DO. Make sure and be swell and bring housewarming gift (though less in manner of "bottle of wine" and more in manner of "one sweet doobie", as seems more their fashion). Awesome of them to invite us, must carry through and actually go.

Blast From the Past

Sunshine and Lollipops: "the people who will tell you the perfect things when they leave you aren't the ones who will, and that's a shame. "

Still very true.

For Future Reference:

Bruce

Quality Crash Tests

Well, lookee there. I think I might be on to something. Now, if only I had the know-how to spruce it up a little..

Aha! That'll do, pig. That'll do.

I Once Grew a Hair

Straight out of the middle of my nose.

No, not the top part, where I would grow a freaking unibrow, a monobrow, etc, if given the opportunity.

I'm talking about right in the middle of my nostrils. But in the front. You know.

THE. TIP. OF. MY. NOSE.

That was about 3 years ago, and luckily it hasn't shown it's sorry face again.

PS: The worst part? Was that I could totally see it out of the corner of my eye(s), if I went all cross-eyed. And you'd never think you do that, but man alive, when you've got a hair there, sticking out all willy-nilly and stuff? Your eyes are totally drawn to it all the time. Total cross-eye provoker.

Chafe-tastic!

I was going through my regular blog reads tonight, and found an answer I'd been waiting for. It seems that some of us web-folken (specifically, women) are braver than others. I think the comment below expresses as close as I could my relief at seeing this online review, courtesy of Jo.*

Comment to the Post:: "I sit here... in the Northern summer clime of Vancouver, Canada... and I am simply awestruck... overwhelemed with a relief that is matched only by the time that I discovered that a very disturbing looking red/raw blemish on my nether regions turned only out to be a spider bite.
You see... I had absolutely no idea... none... that there were even ONE other person who develops an angry thigh-rubbing rash... to hear that(gasp!) this is relatively common? Well... I'm simply flabergasted. I cannot describe the self-loathing I encountered every time I'd ever felt that itchy, soon to be painful skin rubbing sensation between what I perceive to be my ample thighs. 'Surely,' I thought... '...this serves as testament to my status as an overweight sloth.'
Ah... I feel such an indelible relief... that I swear I hear the birds chirping and the breeze rustling the pretty summer leaves outside the windows of this tall glass tower I sit in.
Thank you. Thank you, all."

*The Leery Polyp rocks, and I'm ashamed to admit that once I sent Jo a scary email that didn't say anywhere in it how much wine I had drunk that night; it had all the scary, too-friendly aspects of a harmless drunkard at the bar, but without the explanation that I was FUCKING WASTED to go with it and make it less creepy. It's one of those little things I have a feeling I'll always feel slightly guilty about. And yet, I'm too embarassed to actually check my sent messages to figure out how embarassing I really was. How pathetic am I? VERY. PATHETIC.

A Hallmark E-Card From sunny

Hello!

sunny has created a Hallmark e-card for you, and it's waiting for you
at Hallmark.com! To see your e-card, please follow these steps:

1. Go to our homepage at http://www.hallmark.com
2. Choose "Free E-Cards" in the "Our Products" section.
3. Click the link that says "Pick up an e-card."
4. Enter your e-mail address and this number: EG1738591393768, then
click "Display Greeting." Your e-card will be displayed.

You can also click the link below:
click me

We hope you enjoy your e-card!

With best wishes,
Your friends at Hallmark

Lawn and Garden

As most of you know, I've been helping out in our lawn and garden department. It's really fun, because I get to lift heavy things (like bags of manure), get caught in tornadoes, and other fun stuff. I also get to look at plants. MAN I LOVE PLANTS.

I think I should stop reading about plants while living in this apartment, because apart from our patio (which is already very crowded and slightly uninviting), I have no where to actualize my dreams of being one of those old ladies with the crazy grey flyaway hair in a bun, talking to my garden all day. You know, the one with the house that all the neighborhood kids are scared of. With the cat(s). Yeah, that lady. I can't be her.

In the meantime, I thought I'd make note of some fantastic stores online, where one can purchase seeds, seedlings, and saplings. I think they sell other shit, too.

• One Green World
• Stark Brothers
• Raintree Nursery
• Rare Seeds
• Burpee
• The Cook's Garden
• Renee's Garden
• Irish Eyes - Garden City Seeds
• Seeds of Change
• Johnny's Seeds
• Territorial Seed Company
• Nichols Garden Nursery
• Gardens Alive
• Harmony Farm
• Grow Organic

Yeah

I took my luncheon today with a nice gentleman. He caught me coming out of the building, and followed me to the patio furnature we have on display, and asked me if he could sit with me. I was immediately paranoid about perverts and kidnappers, of course, but I let him sit anyway. After all, why provoke the crazies? He sat, and we had a nice long conversation about the weather (we almost had bad weather last night! There were sirens! IT WAS COOL.) and the general state of affairs. Speaking of which, I had 3 minutes to spare, so we scampered off and did it in my car*. HAHA! Caught you! He was very talkative and nice, and likes Harleys. But even that wasn't enough to make me sleep with him. Not that he would have wanted to, because on top of being 80 years old, and discussing my newly-wedded-ness with him, I am also...

Wearing the same clothes I've worn the last 8 times I worked in Lawn and Garden. Isn't that special? Thing is, I don't really have any more dark-with-sleeves shirts, and the last thing I want is to walk around being Sweaty Girl from Lawn and Garden. I could wear different pants. The other capris I have are jeans, and they have a tendancy to fall off my ass all the time. SO, it's either Sweaty Girl or Crack Girl, neither of which sounds appealing to me. I'd much rather be That Girl Who Might or Might Not Be Washing Her Clothes Every Time She Has to Work Lawn and Garden. Hopefully they assume I'm a better person than I actually am.

Here are some more pictures of all that family mumbo-jumbo. Ignore the one where I look like a rabbit and Bruce looks like he's high on something illegal, won't you? You're too kind.

shitload of Florida pictures. Forewarning: I believe that I might be the most self-absorbed person in the universe. If I am right (and I'm always right), my brother is the second.

What say we all go have some fun with monkeys*. Should be amusing.

**At the wedding, my brother started frantically deleting photos from his digital camera. When I caught him, I was alarmed. "Don't worry", he assured me, "I'm just deleting some of those fucking monkey pictures." Phew.

*There's no way I'm going to believe anyone thought I was serious.

Scrambling Correction

Maybe my strategy for getting more comments isn't the best one.

Perhaps I should post more often.

Then again, maybe I should wait a little while longer.

We can pretend I'm doing so in honor of Jess.

I've decided to link to her blog every few posts for a while, to make up for accidentally not linking her in my sidebar for almost a freakin' YEAR. I. TOTALLY. SUCK. Sorry Jess. I promise to make it up to you, Jess. Someday.

I amost ruined it again by forgetting the "http://" portion of my linkage. But then I made it all better, by actually realizing it! Hurrah for me! Hurrah for Jess!

Indeed.

Some wedding pictures for your enjoyment. I know not everyone wanted to view Bruce's (lovely, yet not always publically-appealling) buttocks in order to see them, so I thought I'd put together a little slide show for your convenience. Also, I weeded out some of the ones in which I look like: A) an elephant, B) a giraffe, and C) a transvestite hooker. Mind you, I said 'some'. After which, there is a lovely meme for everyone to join in upon! Whee! I know how much we all love the selfish side of Sunny!

Bruce was ever the gentleman, trying (despite my efforts) to keep his eyes shut.

These are the ladies who raised me (or a good portion of them) walking to the wedding site.

This is my dad walking me down the 'aisle'. Right before I muttered, "Try not to look mad in all the pictures, Dad?" It's a syndrome he's afflicted with. It's called, CLPPS: Chronic Looking Pissed in Photographs Syndrome. Tragic.

I love this shot. It's right in the middle of everything, and of course I'm a bit awkward, and therefore trying to lighten the situation by saying something entirely inappropriate under my breath. I think I'd just whispered to Bruce, "Something's biting my legs!" Hence the lovely shot of B and I trying to contain our laughter. That's why he married me, you know. Who doesn't want to marry the girl that would go to such extreme lengths just so she won't have to see you cry? But! It was crying with happiness! I say, who cares? Crying is crying, and I spent a good 3 minutes applying that mascara, damnit, and it wasn't going all down my face for nothin'.

Here we are, being pronounced.

And here we are! All together (minus our amazing photographer, of course, and our almost-as-amazing videographer): Dad (looking angry, go figure), Mom, Grandma (isn't that a lovely outfit? And that purse! Stunning! I jest.), Sunny (that's me!), Bruce (that's Bruce!), Lisa (in the dress I made her buy, because the original one was all sequins and Vegas Showgirl, and it would have totally made me look second-best at my own wedding), Robby, and John (Man of Honor). Hurrah!

Here's a nice picture. Not only does it show off my tattoo, but it's positioned so that neither of our guts are airing out for everyone to admire. Ok, that's not the real reason they took the shot..

And now you see why they were taking pictures from behind. Winky McBride here, reporting that the situation is Not As Funny As We Think It Is, but We're Going Ahead And Laughing Anyways. Squinty McHusband has no comment.

Here, as you can see, I've calmed down enough to actually take a decent-looking picture. It's a miracle!

Here's the last picture I let them take of us. As you can see, my expression is one of barely-contained pissed-offedness. I'm also starting to cramp in the cheekal area, and I'm finding this whole process much less amusing than before.

Oops, I lied. Here's another one. You can tell that I really loved this idea, because I look all calm and happy, unlike the one before it, when I look like I'm about to tear the photographer to shreds. It's just about the sweetest picture I could have hoped for. I still can't stand my freaking profile, however. But I try to overlook that little thing.

Here I am, spazzing out with my Best Maid. But if I can't spaz out with her, who can I spaz with? And also, I'm married now, I can spaz all I want, right? Isn't that in a manual somewhere? Right under the section where it says he is allowed to fart in my presence? Why didn't anyone tell me about these magical fun times that come with wedded bliss? WHY?

Here's Bruce trying to reign me in while I look for seashells. I'm like a three-year-old, really. But! I did find a sand dollar! But then Lisa broke it accidentally. But! I didn't much care. If you look close, you might-could see the dolphins in the background! Probably not, though, they were much farther to the left. But you can pretend!

And finally, the most perfect wedding picture I could imagine.. This is why we went to Florida to get married. (It wasn't even planned! We're so spontaniously in love! Doesn't it make you ill?!)

Fill in the blanks.

I ____ Sunny.
Sunny is ____.
Sunny thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Sunny.
If I were alone in a room with Sunny, I would _______.
I think Sunny should _____.
Sunny needs ______.
I want to ____________ Sunny.
If I could describe Sunny in a word: _______.

I may have taken this from someone else. If I did, and I'm not saying I did for sure, just that it might have happened, in theory, it could have been this lady. Then again, it might have been him. Because we all know how self-absorbed he is.

Midweek Update

I've been getting more foot rubs than I've gotten my entire life. I LOVE BEING MARRIED.

I've also been working my motherfucking ass off. It sucks. This working? It's for the birds, man.

We're working out a deal where we might be able to persuade my dad to move 'up north' for a few months, and then be able to rent out their Shawano house for a while. (Probably a few months, consistant with the number of months they want to live 'up north'. Go figure.) It's not working out so well, only because my dad hasn't been home for the past WEEK, and I haven't been able to ask him. Wish me luck for tonight!

I'm seriously pooped. I can't remember the last time I worked a 42 hour week, my bones are killing me.