Sunday, August 28

Quick Poll! How Fun!

Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you realized your spouse/someone you live with had been in the bathroom with the fan on for nigh on 15 minutes? What about if they'd been drinking? Would you:
  1. Ignore them, hope they got it out of their system without intervention*?
  2. Knock on the door and announce you were going to bed, hoping that would rouse them enough to finish whatever business they were taking care of, and then leave them to it**?
  3. Bug them until they either told you what was going on, or threatened D-I-V-O-R-C-E if you didn't leave them to vomit/poop in peace***?

*I do have an extremely vague memory somewhere in my files that makes me not want to go with option #1. Suffice to say it involves my mom telling me a scary story about an old man (My Grandpa? Who knows?) who was left to his own devices on the toilet, and found that he couldn't lift himself off. He apparently got a RED RING around his ass, and that, to me, terrified me so much at seven that I can't seem to leave a hypothetical man on the toilet without assistance. A RED RING! THE HORRORS!!

**I knocked once, and then left him to his business. He's probably fine. But! I had to knock the one time! Just to be sure! Tomorrow, no RED RINGS dare be blamed upon my white soul! For I knocked!

***And, like I said, the fan is on. So, very likely, he's poop/vomiting and doesn't want me to hear. Because seriously? Those fans were invented for people who didn't like the thought of people they lived with hearing them go about "their business". I personally don't like it when I suspect other people can hear "my business", and I know for a fact that those fans DO NOTHING for smell. Don't believe me? Email me, I'll send you over to my parents' house, and you can get ready for school in the bathroom my dad uses. I dare you.

You think I did the right thing?

Now that I think about it, and have taken another 10 minutes to write about it with no change in the hypothetical situation, I think I might just go and knock again before bed. Perhaps with some eavesdropping beforehand. TO HEAR IF HE'S SNORING!

You sickos.

3 comments:

LostNotFound1980 said...

you are far more reserved than me: I would have been like:

Knock knock

Are you poooping?
Are you naked?
Do you like it?

I am a harasser though.

B said...

We can be honest here wife - we can be honest because I dont remember any of this. I must have fallen asleep. I didnt wake up in a pool of my own vomit or excrement.....bleh. I bet you never thought you'd see the word excrement on your blog, eh?

Are you pooping?
Are you naked?
Do you like it?
LMAO!

priceless.

Hostile in Ohio said...

I tend to knock and ask, get ready for it: "What are you DOING in there?"