Ok, I know I'm turning into That Blogger. The one who writes about her pweshuss kitty-witty every five minutes. But some of this stuff is just priceless, and the other stuff I've been wondering about for Way Too Long.
Anyone else have a cat that likes to hump socks? And when the socks are available, they will bring them to you and ask you questions about how to make sweet, sweet love to the socks, until all of the socks are in the middle of the floor and he's gotten tired of them and gone in search of a Fuzzy Slipper? No? Let's leave that alone then.
What about Fuzzy Slippers? Fuzzy Slipper is Linus's favorite sex toy of all time. When he finds it, we know he's got it because he spends the next hour walking around with it in his mouth, asking us how to fuck it. My version of the question looks a little like this: "prrrr-HOW?" Repeat. Over and over again. Since he's now New and Improved, Less Testicle!, I've been letting him cart it around for longer than I used to. Seems to give him some peace.
Funny side-note: Bruce used to think he was really really pissed off at Fuzzy Slipper. He noted the arguments and the scratching and the biting, until I pointed out that cat sex is pretty angry and violent. Then he said, "Oh, yeah." Then he noticed the Little Pink Dong making an appearance and took away Fuzzy Slipper, swatting him a few times with it. But he was definitely not making a second-grader "Ewwww!" face while he did that. Nope.
There's also the matter of the single particle of food that Linus seems to require in his water dish at all times. I can't figure out if it's there by accident or on purpose, but when I have to empty and refill his water dish every time I look at it because of the floating, swollen kernel of Kitten ChowTM (most disgusting floaty ever), I tend to think it's on purpose. And that got me thinking to myself, "Self," thinks I. [pause for small polite laughter] "Self, do you think that perhaps it might be for flavoring?" And I thought about it a little bit more. Cats have a pretty limited range of food choices, and normally only one food is considered a "meal". So who's to say that if Linus was a person, he wouldn't be one of those people who like a little sprig of mint, or a slice of lemon in their water? Is it his fault that he's limited to Kitten ChowTM? Nope. So I'm letting him keep it.
Long story short, I'm not changing his water 1,000 times a day anymore.
Any of these behaviors sound familiar?