Monday, October 17

Anal? Not I!

In light of a Tertia's recent discussion I thought I'd share a funny story with y'all.

A few months ago* I was talking to my mom on the phone, when I got a sudden urge to "GO!". I went into the office (where Bruce was sitting) and tried to hand him the phone so I could "GO!". He wasn't taking the phone, he was asking too many questions, and by this time I had to "GO! GO! GO!" like a highschool cheerleader on crack, I threw the phone in his lap and said, "TALK TO MY MOM, I HAVE TO POOP!" and ran to the bathroom.

Lisa was fortunate enough to get the same treatment last night. Lucky lucky Lisa.

*I almost prefaced this story with "The other day", because I think anything that happened "The other day" is probably funnier than something that happened "Last Tuesday" or "Six months ago today" because who wants to worry about the timeline? Not I! I want to laugh. Anyway, I almost did that, but then I realized that it would make it seem like I had emergency poop breaks all the fucking time, when it's not true. Just sometimes. Unfortunately, they seem to happen while I'm on the phone. Go figure.


Jess said...

I preface those moments with the words "Sorry, dude, but I have to poop. Do you mind?" Most of the time, the person on the other end just says "whatever" and we continue on with the convo.

Unless, of course, I'm talking to non-relatives and close friends. Then it's just awkward.

LostNotFound1980 said...

Indeed I believe I have had many a on the toliet conversations. Maybe it is Jess and my JeffCo upbringing.

Hmm, nah I think it is because we can be very crass at time :-D

Also totally agree about the "The other day" thing but I always screw it up and add in weird details that I am not sure about and say "he was drinking soda, no maybe tea, water" and by the time I figure it out the story is ruined.

B said...

I dont know whats up with you people, but unless its really, really close friends, I dont tell them I'm laying a deuce while on the phone. If its family and i grunt, they just think I've been lying on the couch and that I'm moving around.

How do I handle the flush, you ask? I'll tell you - I hold the phone out the door while the other person is talking and I flush. It works.