Wednesday, May 31

Casualty

My theory is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Ok, so that's not my "actual" theory. In fact, many people would say that I tend to gallavant around, fixing things that have no business being messed with. In fact, I've gotten into trouble for fixing things that weren't in need of help. So I fix things. What's the big whoop?

We have a first casualty in this puppy-verse. It may seem like a small thing, but to those of you with eyes that burn (BURN) with the rages of a thousand firey suns when the guy with the farm in your backyard decides that it's time to "make hay" thereby leavng you "helpless" and "blind" until you get your "allergy relief" eyedrops (which also BURN, and BURN MORE the worse they were BURNING to begin with, but also make things better in the long run), well, it won't seem like I'm exaggerating.

Seriously, dog, I'm sure they're not all that tasty. Perhaps that's why there's only one puncture?



Didn't see it? Let me make things more blurry for you.



Got it now? Well, I've spent many a sleepless night (hello, crying puppy!) thinking about ways to use this eyedropper. After all, it's very important! Eyedropper full of magical elixer that hurts (SO MUCH, IT BURNS IT BURNS) and then taketh away my blindness. I see the light! Obviously, this fluid is not to be wasted. So I sit up at night (I LOVE MY PUPPY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HE HAS TO PEE) and try to dream up ways to use the drops.

My first instinct was to take an empty eyedropper of the same fluid and try to magically become coordinated enough to slightly squeeze the drops out of the full bottle while un-squeezing (gently) the empty bottle, hoping that it would suck up the drops that fell as they were being squeezed from the wounded full bottle. People, this is HARD. And here I thought I was good because I could rub my tummy and pat my head. That is NOTHING compared to perfectly timed squeezing and unsqueezing. Let me tell you.

I mime my process for your pleasure:


No, I wasn't drinking when I came up with this idea. Although it might
have been wise to claim drunkeness. I was drinking when I took the picture, though.


Then there came the fantastic idea of taking a plastic baggie (stop me if you've heard this one), poking a needle into one of the corners, and then squeezing the contents of the eyedropper into the un-poked corner of the bag, and then squeezing the air out of the empty bottle and putting the hole next to it as I un-squeezed the dropper. Yeah. I know. I'm glad I didn't try that one either.

I don't have any pictures, it was that bad of an idea.

And then tonight, I finally had the answer! Eureeka!



If it ain't broke...

3 comments:

B said...

So that means you also got whatever the dog has on his toofs in your eye.


ewwwwwwwwwww!

Jess said...

B: That's just nasty.

Sunny: I tempt you to make a page for Huck at www.dogster.com. He can be Conner's buddy.
http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=321919

Bek said...

Simply brilliant.