Monday, May 1

How to Know You're at My Parents' House

There are a few steps one must take. They include, but are not limited to:

  1. Know where the spare key is hidden.
  2. Find the snoring of the other inhabitant(s) soothing, when and if you notice. Rarely notice it.
  3. Turn on the oven before you turn on the burners, without giving it a second thought, because the only way the burners light is if you have the oven on. Refuse to think this is odd.
  4. Negotiate a path through the house including several flights of stairs (of varying steepocity and widthiness) when extremely drunk and/or with your eyes closed.
  5. Fall backwards into your favorite spot on the couch on the first try.
  6. Bring home leftovers knowing they will be eaten by someone else in the family. Specifically try to have leftovers so you can bring them home for them.
  7. Avoid the squeaky parts of the stairs every time.
  8. By cough and the length of their strides be able to discern who is awake and what mood they're in.

Just a sampling. How do you recognize your parents' home(s)?

3 comments:

lisahhhh said...

Parents? Hmmm...Well, you know you're at my dad's house when it feels like you're camping in the great outdoors. You know, the bathroom is a tree, the fridge is a cooler. You know you're at my mom's house when you're at my sister's house, being that she doesn't have a house of her own, but who needs a house anyway? Sometimes it's just a camper traveling about the countryside.

susan said...

My parents moved a couple of times after I graduated high school. You know you're at my parents' house when you have to ask where your bedroom is. ;)

Miss Wired said...

- The rasping of pen on paper as someone completes the crossword.
- The faint twanging on a guitar.
- Nana's gasp of pain as she gets up from her comfy chair.
- The night-time cracks and bangs from the house expanding and contracting.
- The far-away sound of sailing boat rigging clanging as the boats rock back and forth.

All sounds, I know.