Tuesday, May 23

How to be Good

I just re-started How to be Good by Nick Hornby. I started it originally a few months ago, and I stopped on page 27. I remember thinking that the book was too depressing, and placing it on the bookshelf to look at again "someday". "Someday" turned out to be yesterday, when I was taking the dog out hurriedly (he was circling around like he meant business, so I picked him up and quickly grabbed the first available reading material from the shelf - my current read was in the garage, and too far away for reaching in emergencies), and I'm not seeing what I was seeing the first time I read it. The content is the same, which is slightly reassuring, because I've always got a paranoia in the back of my head that I've got this mental illness where I hallucinate my entire existance. "Phew!" I think, "I'm not hallucinating after all! Or at least not this part!" I bet y'all are just waiting to hear I'm schizophrenic after that revelation, aren't ya?

So, in any case, the book is exactly the same, but my attitude seems to have improved since the last time I read it, and I'm finding it very engaging and funny. It's exactly the sort of book I like to read, and I'm looking forward to reading his other novels ("someday").

I have another paranoia, this time it has very little to do with mental illness. Every time I fill out a job application, I forget what I wrote down mere seconds after finishing, and then spend the next few weeks terrorizing myself with what I might have written. It's like a story Lisa told me once. She had just finished an application to a Harley Davidson store, and was driving away when she realized that when they asked for her "weaknesses", they probably weren't looking for answers like "food", which is what she'd written. That's exactly what I'm worried about. That and being schizophrenic.

Man, this entry is all over the place, huh? Goodnight!


Miss Wired said...

I hate it when I get a call about a job I've applied for, but I can't remember for the life of me that I actually applied for that job.

Jess said...

I tried to read A Long Way Down, but had the same issue. I just couldn't get into the story. So, I put the book down and started other reading. I'm hoping that (someday) I'll pick it back up and enjoy it the second time around....

You have the hallucination fear, too? Whew.

usako said...

sweet! if YOU'RE hallucinating your entire existence, then that means i'm probably actually living mine, right?

how relieving ;)