Now I get to wake up to Bruce saying, Baby.. BABY... Wake up. WAKE UP, HE'S SHITTING.
I, in a motherly fashion, have taken to following him around everywhere he goes, and praising him over-much when he goes potty. I'm also ashamed to admit that I find it necessary to take him and physically deposit him in front of his food once every few hours--just in case he's forgotten the need to eat--after which I deposit him into the litter box--just in case he forgets to poop.
I can now say, with utter certainty, that I will never be having children. I was scared to death to leave Linus here for 3 hours today, and panicked when I couldn't find him anywhere in the apartment when I got home. I found him looking at me sleepily from the first place I'd looked, Mom, don't be a dumbfuck, I'm right where you left me, sleeping. Now stop with the noise.
The kitten has taken to believing that I'm it's mother. This is partly because I've been wiping his butt after he poos, and partly because his mom was hit by a car last week, and he's mostly right. After all, who would wipe an asshole that wasn't their child's?
Again, I'm never having children. No matter how sweet it is that he kisses me.
2 comments:
Funny, because I woke her up that way twice. The second time was no false alarm. I realized this after I stuck my hand in his shit. Always fun at 3am. :)
i'm fostering 2 kitties from animal control and they are only 5 pounds full grown! they are siamese and really don't hide from me but they are camouflaged. the best advice i can give you is to get a little collar with a bell. it's helped me locate them a couple times plus lets podder my 16lbs cat have a little notice before he gets pounced on.
-nick
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