Thursday, January 27

Pray For Me

Do not, throughout the entire workday, treat me like a slightly retarded kindergardener, and expect me to respond to minor pleasantries about how you're going to pray for me. Pray for me? Yeah, that's great. Pray for whomever you want, lady, I'm still not enjoying my workday.

Do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT stand over my shoulder when I'm on the telephone. Do NOT tell me what to say to people, as I'm talking to them. DO NOT CORRECT MY PHRASING. DO NOT TALK LOUDER THAN I AM TALKING, IN ATTEMPTS TO DROWN ME OUT TO THE PERSON I'M ON THE PHONE WITH.

Don't correct me every time I say something to a customer. If I tell a customer it will be 10 minutes, don't override my opinion on how long it will take. Accept the fact that I'm doing you a favor, and giving you 30 seconds to spare. Please don't make me look like an idiot to the customers. I already feel like a fool, because when I was talking to them on the phone, YOU WERE TALKING LOUDER THAN I WAS.

Do not tell to do something that you know I can't do yet, and stand by and watch me try and blunder my way through 3 different prospective methods of accomplishing the task before you correct me. Don't be that lady. For Godssake, Don't Be That Freaking Person.

Do not give me minor compliments, and expect everything to be peachy-keen between us.

I left a message on Bruce's voicemail today. It said:

Hello, this is Sarah, calling from the pharmacy. Our phone number is ###-####. This message is for Bruce, I'm wondering if it would be possible to move, so that I don't have to work with A CRAZY LADY anymore. If you could give me a call back, again our number is ###-####, and let me know, that would be great. Thank you.


My skin was peeling off of my eyeballs today. I actually had to make an excuse for being a little short with her, because it's just not acceptable in my mind to bring any of those points to light with someone you're expecting to work with in harmony for the next 2 months. I don't have to work full-time for a while, though, and that's what kept me from gouging out my eyes with hot forks of dispeasure. And that's Exactly What I've Been Praying For, can you believe it?

[Incidentally, I read all of dooce's archives last week, having stumbled across her blog during the BoB's. I have to say that I'm captivated, and that she's amazing. Also, she'd make a great president..

...OF FRANCE!!! I'm going to make a list of all of the wonderful ladies who've been occupying my reading time in a little while. Until then, go about your business.]

8 comments:

HappyFunBall said...

You should also check out Chez Miscarriage: http://chezmiscarriage.blogs.com/ if you haven't already found it. She's like the yin to Dooce's yang. Or she's just a brilliant writer. Take your pick.

SJ said...

Yes, Chez Miscarriage is a good read and I've gotten all concerned about this woman I don't even know. (I'm like, please let this work out for her, goddammit!)

Sunny, I laughed and laughed at your description of your co-worker. Shit, I've had those, too.

Byagi said...

I hear a good smack in the face quickly handles those tense situations....

Unknown said...

A similar thing happened to me yesterday. I was playing in the park with this giant black lab and we were having a good time when suddenly he kept getting on my back. Over and over and over. And then he tried to hump me! Exactly what that lady is trying to do to you (well not exactly, but you get the point)

So what I did was check him back good! Sometimes all it takes is to do a quick bite on the neck or butt (and release - no pit bull stuff here) and then get on your hind legs and rear up and bark and let her know who you are!

I bet if you just bit her hard once on the neck or butt that would be all the checking back you would need to do, but a bark helps to establish yourself so they think twice about doing it again.

Just a dog's opinion and view. Hope that helps.

Cal

Jay said...

Poor Sunny. It's hard to be sunny when you have a dark cloud hovering around all day. Maybe if you blow real hard, she'll end up raining on Europe for a while.

HappyFunBall said...

Wow, Sunny, some good suggestions here. You can either A) give your co-worker a hickey, or B) blow her.

Or, my personal favorite that was not on the list: C) roll over her in the parking lot with your car.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... HFB, I think you're right. I'd go for one of the first two, but I'm really not interested in person-to-person contact at this point. After all, that's one of my chief gripes about her. We'll see, maybe after a few more days, I'll be ready for option 3.

Lets hope my car can take it.

Miss Wired said...

You must say something! These kind of people cannot continue in their ways! Good luck :)