This is my bank. I need a better-bank, a more-national-bank, a (shudder) real-bank. What I need in my real bank are things that I currently get from my fake-bank. They are as follows:

• Friendly Tellers. To the point where they haven't yet made me feel stupid, at all, about having to cash in my sheepy-bank, or accidentally thinking I had more money than I actually did. They act like it's somehow their fault, when I'm broke, and it's cute and something I always thought would be nice.
• Close Proximity to My Home/Work. It needs to be in my town, and easy to get to, like this one is. Doesn't have to be 3 blocks away, like this one is, but it really should be closer than Green Bay.
• Free Checking.
• A Sense of Unity. That might just be a fake-bank thing, though, so I understand if that can't happen.
• Overdraft Protection. Because it's sad that I need it as much as I do, but I do, nonetheless. Important to have things that are as important to me (even if they're embarassing, like this one is) as this one is.
• Online and Phone Services. The ability to check my balance from afar, even though I lost my passcodes and can't actually do it as much as I should.

Here are some things I want, that my fake-bank doesn't currently offer me:

• The Ability to Be In Canada, and Still Use My Card. Very important, makes me worry about being in Missouri, and still using my card.
• A Limit on My Account. Not on the number of times I use it per day, but rather on the amount of money I use per day.