Thursday, March 23

But Seriously, Guys

What the fuck?

I mean no disrespect for women who chose to marry men that care more about weight than they do, but I told myself long ago that the person I married had to be someone who cared less about my appearance than I did.

I suppose it's lucky for me that I fell in love with someone who thinks I'm sexy no matter what, huh?

No, fuck that. I married a man that I chose to fall for. Part of the reason I allowed myself to fall for him is because he's not hung up on what size of pants I wear.

You know what? I don't want to be hung up on the size of pants he wears, either. I love him just the same, so what's the difference? We already motivate each other to exercise, and if it got down to it, we'd focus more and get things done.

Point is, I don't want him to think about my extra pounds any more than I think about his - which is never. I want him to love me for me, and I think I married the perfect guy for me.

How about you all?


Jess said...

I find it seriously disturbing that someone who is supposed to love you and honor you would be ashamed of you after you put on a few extra pounds. I don't see the love in that at all. I see shallowness, insecurity and a desperate need to control something that is not theirs to control.

I've been overweight for the vast majority of my life, but I've also been comfortable admitting it and being it. I've reached a point where health-wise and lifestyle-wise I want to be thinner. But I do not ever want to be skinny. Ever. I want curves, I want boobs and I want it to look good when I shake my tail feathers. Fuck being a twig. A woman is supposed to have cellulite here and there. I find it horrifying when I can see a woman's pelvic bones jutting through her dress or the sight of the skin stretched paper thin over her sternum.

I think women who focus on their weight for someone else are focusing on the wrong thing. You lose/gain weight for yourself. You do it to gain self-confidence. You do it to be healthier. You do it because you want to. You never do it so someone will love you more. When we allow ourselves to think that it's okay for the men in our lives to demand we be "skinny like the day they met us" for the rest of our lives, we give them a control and a power over our lives that we should never give anyone. We justify the unreasonable attitude toward women's weight that exists in this country. And we hand over another generation of young women to eating disorders, low self-esteem and impossible self-image.

I am lucky that in this life I have found many a man who finds my curvy figure and abundant chest more than enough compensation for my slightly heavy thighs and gentle roundness. I'm quite lucky that the one I've spent the last three years with looks not only at my physical attractiveness, but also at my intellectual attractiveness. He's asked me never to be skinny, and I think that says it all.

L. said...

Hello -- I am the woman you linked above, whose husband didn`t bring her to his office Christmas party. I am now searching with great fascination to see how far and wide my little snippet of a post has traveled.

For the record, my husband is Japanese, and wives usually aren`t invited to Japanese office parties. I didn`t include much background in my post, because the few dozen people who regularly read my blog know this, and know my family.

I can understand why some of the thousands of strangers reading that one post are now heaping scorn on my husband (and me), and I agree that based only on what I wrote there, he deserves it.

In retrospect, though, I wish I had provided more context.I invite you to read my two follow-up posts on the weight issue.

Or, if you`re not interested, don`t.

LostNotFound1980 said...

I hate hate hate the issue of weight.

I have nothing intelligent to say other than I know skinny people have it a lot fucking easier than us.

Ask the skinny hard looking cage dancers....