Sunday, November 6

How to Make the Most of a Crappy Chore:

I think I speak for my husband and my brother-in-law when I say that yesterday couldn't have been much more perfect. I'll let Jessica speak for herself. Oh yes, I'm about to graduate from "Cool People in Cyberspace" to "Friends I Know In Real Life". It was that monumental. I was so incredibly drunk. But Sean was way drunker than I was. Pussy.

I suppose I aught to tell the actual story, and not ramble on and on in my very special way that no one will get unless they were actually there, huh? Damn.

Against our better judgement, Bruce and I woke up early yesterday morning to drive to St. Louis. His brother, Sean, is going to Iraq in a month or so and this was his last trip home before he goes here:

Oh, that's a little depressing, isn't it? And after all, we all want him to have a good time and not get involved in any bombings or anything.. Hmm. Maybe we'd be better off picturing him here:

Ok, that's better. We got into St. Louis just in time for lunch, and stopped at the Landing to get something to eat. Only we weren't really hungry. Unless you count "Hungry for Beer". We had a few drinks, and somehow managed to wrack up a bill of over NINETY DOLLARS. $90.00. Insane. Understandable, then, why we wanted some advice before choosing our next place to drink.

I was the way I get when I'm drunk, and took matters into my own hands - demanding that Bruce call Jess (in KC) to get the number of Jess (in StL). Bruce was shy at first, after not talking to her for nigh on eight years, but they caught up a little before he handed the phone to me. "Hi. Where can we drink for cheap?" I demanded, before asking if she'd be so kind as to meet us there. The night (well, afternoon, really) was young, and there was much to be drank. (Drunk? Drinked?) We did our best to contain ourselves before the lovely lady arrived, but unfortunately all was lost. We were terribly drunk when she showed up.

Luckily, there's a certain type of person who not only understands these situations, but embraces them without a second thought, ordering a giant bucket of Woodchuck and just plain going to town. I love that certain type of person, but that wasn't Jessica.

She deserves an extra category dedicated to the type of person who not only does the above, but also lets the soon-to-be-in-Iraq brother squeeze her boobs. All hail Jessica.


I also promised Bruce that I would type something up for him on my blog while he is away, letting Jessica know how ultimately cool it was to hang out with her last night, and how awesome she is in all ways. He wanted me to add that he's not sure why you haven't seen each other in so long, but he's not going to let it happen again. "She remembers all that crap that I don't remember anymore." How sweet.


LostNotFound1980 said...

I am so glad we got to hang out last night!!! I had such a great time. You really are the coolest person!!!!!

I am most definitely in a category of my own. hehehehe :-D

And tell B, the feeling is mutual. Except for him remembering the crap. That's my job I guess :-D

Anonymous said...

im still sad that i didnt get the extended invite, but i did have plans with the in-laws. i will meet you soon i hope. i miss bruce alot, we were really close in high school. that boy could make me laugh for hrs on end. im glad you guys had a blast with my girl jess.
amanda (porter) benz

Jess said...

Well, at least I got a shout out for being the link between the two parties. It makes up for being stuck in a RETREAT with my STUDENTS (i.e. WORKING) on a Saturday afternoon/evening. I cannot wait to be home in StL soon so I can go to Lacledes for some Woodchuck and crab rangoon (both horrible for my waistline, but fantastically tasty).

I'm so glad you all got to meet up. I hope you had a Woodchuck for me! And I'm glad that Jess continues to serve our country via the squeezing of her breasts. She'll never let you down in that department! ;o)

NowhereGirl said...

THe US government should create a position for Jess!

What's could possibly be better for the morale of our soldiers?! ;-)

LostNotFound1980 said...

Jess: Yes indeed, thank you for the invite!!! :-D I had such a blast. You know I had a Woodchuck for you!!

Nowheregirl: I'm with you!! I will let soldiers squeeze my breasts in exchange for government cheese :-) According to Sean they have "good posture." I am sure that could bring up morale everywhere :-D hehehe