Wednesday, December 1

My Friends

There are some things that a mind makes all to clear. Some parts of life seem to come to us without question, without fail. For some people, that clarity comes through religion, for others, through heroin. I'm not the person to tell you right from wrong. I'm not the messiah who will tell you the best way to get to the next stage in existance. I'm not even the person to tell you (or anyone, really!) which particular brand of dishwashing liquid will leave your dishes sparkling. I will, however, tell you the most major influence on my life. Like it or not.

I love my friends. That's a statement that most people can say, without fail. It's a given, really, up there with 'My mom is annoying', or 'Cat piss stinks'. Most people will tell you that it's a proven statement. I don't think that most people can tell you what I'm about to, however.

I love my friends unconditionally. I love my friends whether they date someone horrid, or smell bad on Tuesdays, or (God forbid) we don't speak on a daily--or weekly, or monthly--basis. It's a point I've chosen to come to with my friends. I take circumstances into effect. I have enough faith in my own judgement to say that I've chosen the best people I know for friendship, and because of that, I always take into consideration the idea that they have christened Tuesdays as No-Bathing-Day, or that they know what's best for them (even if it's for a short period, and they choose someone god-awful) when they choose to date. It's a freedom that I give them, but don't assume that it's completely selfless. Because I expect the same from them, all the time.

I don't consider everyone I know to be friends. Far from it. There are many people around who would probably list me on their "friends list" if it came down to it; many people whom I would list as well. There are few, however, that I would put on a master, trust-them-with-your-life list, the kind of list that matters throughout a lifetime.

The people I count on my lifetime list (bear with me, I know I sound like the TV Guide Channel) don't always talk to me on a regular basis. There are a few who I only speak to once a year. One particular friend hasn't been in contact for nearly 6 years. They are still my friends. They will always be my friends, and I'm forever grateful for the times that we have together. Perhaps more important are the times we spend apart. For I know that these particular friends won't vanish as soon as the well of conversation runs dry. They aren't the sort of people to assume that I dislike them, the minute the emails end. We have reached an unspoken agreement. One which I will always cherish. "We don't need to talk on a regular basis to know that we care about each other". Isn't that beautiful?

A few of my best friends are people whom I've never even met, how's that for crazy? The point is, the more a friend requires of me, in order to maintain friendship, the less likely I am to keep up on it. A friendship is more than a contract of needs, it's an arrangement based upon mutual understanding and genuine goodwill. Is there anything more that needs to be asked of a person, anything more you would require of your friends?


retarius said...

you have it down! i am not a big fan of those who think just cause they note in a blog or see you once a week they are a "friend". and to love one unconditionally is huge, but you realize what it means, which so few people do. b is a lucky guy to have you as a friend. he has a real one. just so you know, i am here cause b suggested it in his blog thing. i'm glad he did.

B said...

He is right - I'm lucky to have you as a friend. :)

Gama said...

Sweet looking picture :)
Friends come and go, but to find one is rare in this world.