We're not vindictive people by nature, honestly. We're peaceful, happy-go-luckians at heart. Make love, not war; all the catchy anti-conflict slogans apply to us.
Some people make us want to wring their necks. Some people leave us pondering evil schemes deep into the night. Some people make us want to leave their lives in shambles. It's not our faults that we're weak. It's theirs, for making us hate them so.
When your childhood best friend marries a whore and won't talk to you anymore, when she hates you so much that she spreads rumors about you, and refuses to let him help you in times of crisis, you might get a little angry. When she openly puts a halt on a 20 year friendship, things might turn ugly.
I'm sick of my friends being brainwashed by their signifigant others. This isn't my fight, this isn't my childhood friend. Maybe if it were, I wouldn't be so inclined to exact revenge. My best friend has put up with an awful lot, however, and that is inexcusable to me. I'm willing to help her fight the good fight. And so, we scheme.
Most of our scheming turns us into weeping drunkards, but we have had a few ideas. Of course, we always write them down. One, "Ice cream bucket full of shit", eludes us. We must have been at the bar. Another is pure gold. I'll share it, because it's too good not to pass on. It's titled, "Send out NAWBLA welcome letter".
If anyone's interested, I've got a rough draft I don't remember typing saved on my computer.
No comments:
Post a Comment