Wednesday, June 30

Random Thinkings

i have a funny way of coming to conclusions. by that i mean, there are times when it's been pointed out to me that the reasoning behind something i've decided is a little off. most of the time, it's made me feel bad, or just different. i've gotten used to knowing that, and accepting it, and expecting it, when i explain my pattern of thought to people. it's recently come to my attention that that isn't true, and that some people will actually appreciate that in me. it won't be something they like me inspite of, but something they like me because of.
i wanted to make a note about my mom. last night, i told someone that i loved her, but i was scared of turning into her. that's only in some respects. if i ever am a mom, would like to be the mom who never lets you go to bed without telling you she loves you. i would like to be the mom who gets emotional, just not to the same degree :). i would like to be the mom (this one is the most important) that leaves notes. my mom leaves notes. i bet that if i had all of the notes she's written to members of this family, and counted up the words, it'd rival moby dick. i used to hate the notes, because they meant she wanted me to do something. but now, they've sort of evolved, and i'm finding out how nice it is, when i come home to an empty house, to know where they are, and when they'll be back. it's a silly thing, but the few times i've come home and there was NO note, i felt lost for a little while. my brain doesn't always remember the place she told me last week that they'd be going to tonight, and it's good to have a little reminder. it brightens my day when she throws in little tidbits, like, "Kitty has now decided he likes it when you squirt him with the water bottle. Wierdo."

1)I like to think that we are made from the best traits of our parents, and that we can pass on those important little things to others (be it friends, children or random people)that we meet along the way. It's funny how much those kind of things that parents do end up meaning so much. It's also funny how long it sometimes takes us to appreciate those kind of things from them.

No comments: