Monday, July 26


my family doesn't close the door when they go to the bathroom.  when i say family, i mean my mom, mostly.  i've inhereted this unincognito technique to urination (anything heavier than pee, and i DO close the door).  it's a side of myself that few people (none, really) have seen, and it's intensely personal, but i love it, because it reminds me of how free my mom is with all of us, and how open i want to be, should i choose to have kids someday.

bear in mind, it took me a while to appreciate it.  when i was younger, and even sometimes today, it's a little embarassing.  i've got to make damn sure everyone is fully clothed and/or doors are closed before i bring anyone over to visit.  it's standard procedure to yell "Hello!?" when i come in the door with a friend.  lisa knows, and she makes sure and yells "Knock knock!" when she comes in.  [i yell "knock, knock" back, but that's as a running joke from the time she yelled it first, and i meant to reply "Who's there?" and did it wrong.  it's been a slight load on my life, that my mom can't keep her door closed in the bathroom.]

Sam had a big issue with the bathroom.  it could have been for any number of reasons.. a diffferent background, 2 siblings, strange parents.. but for whatever reason, he not only always shut the bathroom door.. he also always locked it.  it seemed odd to me, because we lived together for 3 years, 2 of which were without roommates other than each other.  why on earth would he have to lock the door?  i really don't WANT to see him shitting.  if he's not in the rest of the apartment (all 3 rooms of it), i'm pretty sure (especially if the door's closed) that i'll be able to discern where he is.  it just seemed like a barrier that didn't need to be there, i guess.  it made ME self-conscious, and lock the door when i was in there.  which was odd, for me.

our bathroom didn't have a lock-mechanism until i was ~14.


B said...

i like that level of comfort. i see what you're saying and i understand why. being that open is important. I know it's important to me. it doesnt just apply to pissing, but thats what we're talking about, so we will stay with that. it's not that big of an issue to everyone. maybe it has to do with modesty or something ingrained in your head when you're younger. some of us feel that openness though, and dont mind things like that.

Cleo said...

I seem to fall somewhere in the middle, there. My mom used to make me shower with the door open, so the bathroom didn't fog up. I hated it, though, because I hate my stepfather, and had no desire for him to see me naked. Now I shower with the door open so all the critters can come make sure I haven't escaped. Funny how things change.