Mike, Revisited

i remember mike because i see you in mike. 

mike, when mike was happy and carefree, was happy and carefree and did crazy things that made everyone i was around cringe sometimes, and made me look at him the way i was looking at him in that picture.  he awed me, when he was happy and crazy like that.  i loved him for being brave, and for doing stuff that he knew would make people cringe.. because it would make people cringe. 

you're reminiscent of mike in a lot of ways.  the way you're willing to do things and not care what people think.  the way you're open, and you get along with nearly everyone.  the way that people flock to you - yes, i've noticed that - and the way that you find humor in things that people normally don't.  you even have a look on your face sometimes that looks like a look mike had on his face sometimes.  when i was 17, mike was really truly what i wanted.  i yearned for him, because of all those things in him that i see in you.

i longed for mike a lot.. i wanted him to want me, and i spent a long time wishing he would.  he just didn't have it in him, though, and i don't blame him for that anymore.  that look he used to give?  he didn't aim it at me, he aimed it at jakie.  but it's ok, now.  he's realized it was a waste (which my self-confidence needed before i really forgave him), and i've gotten a good friend from the deal - that's all that really matters.. truely.  he helped me to see part of who i wanted to be with, that big part of him that reminds me so much of you.