It's a funny thing, but not in a ha-ha way, when you come to accept yourself for who you are. I told someone this the other day, and I want to share it with all of you. I had an epiphany today, at work, and I want to share that, as well.
I was never at ease with myself. I always considered myself to be the "other".. that girl who just doesn't fit in. Due to many factors, it became not just the "other", but the bad, as well. Those aren't what I'm here to talk about, not right now.
What I am here to talk about is acceptance. Not about acceptance from others, but acceptance that you give to others. No one, not a soul in this world, should feel the way I did (have for most of my life). No one should feel as though they are alone. No one, I reserve the right to repeat for emphasis, no one is alone. For that reason, no one should feel completely excluded, or ostricized, or abandoned. I work every day, trying to make sure that those around me are at ease. I have for as long as I can recall, and it's a very simple process, there are very simple rules to follow, in order to bring the people around you into a very simple sort of happiness - the happiness of feeling as though they belong. Here are a few tricks of my version of the trade:
- Take a deep breath, and look around you. Realize, as hard as it might be, sometimes, that everyone is a person, and everyone lives within their own mind.
- Understand that the world in which you live, your own mind, no matter how much sense it may make to you, is not their mind. Take a few steps in their (probably ugly beyond understanding and uncomfortable as hell) shoes.
- Take a deep breath, and know that you are not them. Be grateful, because you do not have the problems that they have (and Pete forbid, you ever will).
- Smile. Wink, if necessary. Take the time to let them know that you want them to be happy - few things are better for this than a smile (frown-and-be-genuinely-sad falls under the same category. There are many ways with which to sympathize). Most people respond well to a smile. A wink is just an icing, really.
- Be Patient. Few things are as calming as a person who will listen to your troubles, and be genuinely interested in them.
- Talk slowly. Talk in a tone of voice that seems just a tad bit too slow. If you're soothing, the people will most likely be soothed, and therefore more calm. The faster you talk, the more frantic you seem. The more frantic you seem, the more likely they are to over-react, and get even more stressed out. Sometimes, it's hard to do. Almost always, it pays off. I'm not advising to talk in the tones you would use on a three-year-old, I'm suggesting an extra effort to put a calming tone to your voice.
- Shrug it off. Some people will never ever understand, or appreciate, your extra thoughts. Those people were sent from whatever is unholy, to make your life a living Hell. It happens. The next person you work your magic upon will most likely respond kindly.
- Let the little bits of kindness that people show you go far.
- Tell the people who are kind to you, how much it means. It might seem extranious, at times, but it always sticks with them, in one way or another. They might even apply it to their own daily lives. No matter how fruitless it may seem, it may pass on. The little bit of effort it takes is always worth it.
All of these things might seem like minor things, to some people. Many of them will be things you do without a second thought. If there's anything to add, please comment.