Crush

i've had a crush on this one guy for about 20 years. it started pretty small, i just noticed that he liked to play the same games as i did, and he had a cute smile. then, i started noticing more detailed things about him. his eyes lit up when he was excited. he listened when i talked. his arms were nice, and i really enjoyed his back. he laughed at the same things i laughed at, and made me laugh without meaning to. i sort of grew to love this guy. he does nice things for people, not because it makes him look impressive, but because he couldn't stand himself if he didn't. there are other, more personal things about him. the way he snores, or the way he doesn't make any sense for about 2 minutes when he first wakes up. little things that not everyone would think to notice about this guy, i'm completely in love with. like i said, i've gotten to know him pretty well, in 20 years. probably a good thing, because he lives in my head. he's made up of all the best parts of the guys - all the guys - that i've ever even given a second glance to. i think that were i to meet him, someday, i would be completely overwhelmed.

i didn't go to green bay, my car started breaking on the way there, and i barely made it back into town. good thing, too, because that thing i'm always scared about with my debit card happened, and i had to write a bad check for dinner tonight. there are some things that i think i shouldn't probably share with people. i think i'll risk it.