i think i almost said something i shouldn't have. in fact, i'm a little worried that i got too close to saying something i shouldn't have, and there was silence as a responce. ususally with this phone partner, that's a good thing, so i'm using it to carry over, but you know.. sometimes i keep getting paranoid. or maybe i just want to hear more reassurances.

it's amazing how someone you've never met can know you better than most people who've been trying to figure you out your whole life. how someone can sit with you in silence for hours without the slightest hint of discomfort. i've never been anyone that anyone's felt the need to treat delicately. i've been the ragdoll of a girlfriend, not the chinadoll. the role always suited who i am.. at least the who that i show people. sometimes, i'm being treated as though i'm incredibly delicate, and i'm really savouring the feeling it gives me.

i've been averaging a tiny amount of sleep. i know, because i've counted. it's nothing specific, but here's why it bothers me: i'm feeling better than i have in a long time. i'm waking up more willingly, and i'm falling asleep (while dependant on something) a lot faster and more easily than i have been in a long time. i used to only be able to sleep with alcohol in me. oh, i was going to post about that, :).