Thursday, July 8

What i Miss

when i miss being in minneapolis, it isn't the pollution, the scads of people i'll never be able to identify ever again, it's certainly not the feeling that no one i meet actually sees me, because they meet a million and a half people every day. i miss a few, specific things.

i miss that, whenever i walked around there, it was normal. that, even though there was more crime, i felt safer, walking at night. that i could wander around in the dark, and on the off-chance that someone noticed that it was odd that i was there, they would avoid me, not stalk me and try to figure me out. in minneapolis, even the most unassuming person is to be feared, and avoided, after dark. in small-town, we're investigated.

i miss quiznos. i miss stuff that i can't get in my town, stuff i couldn't possibly get, unless i drove 250 miles. i miss quiznos, and having target next door (and every second block), i miss best buy, i miss borders. i miss having those stores around, even if i rarely went there. it's hard to crave target, but harder still to force yourself to go there, when it'll cost you $5.oo for the trip. and then, i feel like i should buy something, like it's not ok unless i actually go there for a reason. so i end up tacking $5.oo onto my trip.

i miss having anonymity in my everyday life.

when i was there, i missed being missed. i missed being someone people knew. it's give and take, i guess.. i prefer to be someone memorable to being someone lost in a croud. i get the feeling that i'm fake less, when i'm being recognised by everyone in town. harder to buy embarassing items, though, haha.

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