Both topics (together) remind me of a story. Not that story, you perv! The other one, the one about a conversation I had with a friend, a few years ago.
We were sitting around our coffee shop (we being the grind-flies, which reminds me of another story, but let's just stick to one-at-a-time, shall we?), and discussing our friend Harry's sex life. Or lack thereof, which is what led to this exchange (paraphrased, it was years ago, people!):
Harry: blah blah blah, not getting any.. blah blah blah.
Someone Not Me Nor Harry: Oh, man, I was beginning to suspect you played for the other team!
Harry: Naw, dude.. I'm not a switch-hitter.
Me: Actually, when you think about it.. He's been sitting on the bench for quite a while.
Well, sheesh. I didn't say it was comedic gold, or anything. Harry thought it was pretty funny.