Disclaimer: i didn't actually eat any porn. i thought a lot about it, but it didn't actually happen. i really really wanted to, but i didn't. sometimes, you're too drunk for porn. and yes, i stole this from jessica.
here's what i remember...
we got there, me, my brother, justin, and my mom. we started drinking. i saw that girl who i thought was alyssa, and then i said, "Wait a minute, that's not alyssa, that's rachel, and she's my friend!" and went over to say hi. when i was talking to her, dwight came up, grabbed her by the arm, and wanted to haul her off to dance. i butted in, said, "Who are you grabbing, Mister?" and he changed grab-ee's as quick as you'd like. it was good. but i didn't want to dance (yet), so i begged off.
saw brian, and said hi. didn't make too much contact, i know his wifey (whom he hasn't married quite yet) gets jealous for no good reason, and i wasn't drunk enough to try to provoke her (yet). went back and told mom, and she said, "OHHH, i've got some bad news... well, good and bad..." i said, "Oh, she's pregnant?" mom said yes, but that the good news was that kelly's gonna be a gramma. LOL. kelly is a thorn and a stick all rolled up in one blond, offensive package. (that saying stolen from LISA, who mixed her metaphors beautifully on one good ol' monday night drunk.)
went to the dance floor to find dwight (whom we were calling duane all night, cause it makes him upset.. lol). i've known him since i was born, he's my mom's age. he used to go out with my mom's cousin, jamie. we've always had a sort of a bond.. he's a good guy. i'll show you a picture, when they get developed. i met him on the floor - the band was AWESOME. all the good oldies? they covered them. and did it WELL. so i came up, and started dancing, and realized he was dancing with some other girl. i totally cut in, and it was hillarious. he looks at her, all alarmed, and says, "It's ok, she's my niece!!!" i'm not, but we've decided that i'm practically, so i bonded with him over it. also bonded with a girl named holly, once we figured out that we're both his "nieces".. related by air, through our perverted uncle. that was great.
robby wanted to dance, so i led him to the floor.. ran into brian, on the way. just tapped him, and said, "Hey! Congradulations!", which made him smile. that was nice.
bonded more with sarge.. he's pleased that i sent a shirt to advertise down in missouri. the idea was enough to make him totally pleased. told him i might need to borrow a sweatshirt to wear, later on in the night, he said, "Well, you could always just come stand by me.. i'll help you keep things heated up." when i didn't seem entirely impressed (teasing, of course!), he looked a little forlorn, said, "Well, it used to work, before i was 150 years old.." to which i replied, "It might still.. but you know, i know kelly.. and i don't really want to risk the wrath." big guffaws ensued. it was great.
got pictures with my favorite peoples at the bar.. it was good, i'll share, once they're developed.
after this, the night gets a little fuzzy. i do know that justin satisfied my need to mommy the drunks, by letting me baby him on the ride home. and today, it continued :). he's a good shit, i'm glad he's now my friend, too. robby can't keep all the good ones all to himself. there's more, but this post is already too long.
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