i have an urge, after reading some of the pseudo-political, neo-liberal papers i found in milwaukee, to move there. they've got advertisements for food places, music places, fun things to do galore. but then i think about things, for real, and realize that maybe what i really like is being connected. i feel so alive right now, maybe all i want is to feel like everyone around me is that alive too.. and that's something i don't need to be in a big city to find.

also, some of the things that make me feel *most* alive are the things that i wouldn't notice, were i in that big city. the sky, for instance, the night sky tonight, on our drive back, was beautiful. the sight of it, unobstructed by big buildings, was amazing. the after-sunset colors were a literal rainbow - Robby pointed that out to me.

and being around so many people - while inviggorating, is also depressing. here, i feel like i make a difference. big cities are WONDERFUL, and i love to visit them. i think green bay or appleton is a fine example of how big of a town i could actually stand to live in, and still feel like myself. or neenah.. i've always loved neenah.