Cash Cube (and why the name belies itself)

last year, i went to the casino for my birthday. i was nervous as all-get-out, because lisa spent months telling me how great it was, how you could get so much money, all for free. she told me tales of how much money she'd won, and wayne, and her dad (he won $7.. made me feel a little better, lol). it all made me CRAZY nervous. i knew i'd be a laughing-stock.

as it turns out, i did pretty well, comparitively.. and i came out with a good story, as well.

when it came time to go in, i was nervous as hell. my hands were cold, i was shaking.. it didn't help that, once i got inside, lisa turned to wayne and made him watch, too. i gesticulated violently, wanting them not to watch, i knew it'd make me even more nervous. she mistook it for a "get everyone to look at me, and watch me fail miserably" gesture, and started rounding up people she didn't know. i stopped gesticulating.

the air started to whirl, the money started flying. not only was i completely unable to grasp any of it (maybe sweaty palms?), i sure as hell couldn't shove any of it through the little slot they provided. it was humiliating. little did i know.

i came out with nothing.

..........

the lady was shocked. she took a mini-conference with the *other* lady, and then took me aside, to say (at as high a volume whisper as she could muster, it felt like), "Look, we don't normally do this.. well sometimes, i guess. when they get nothing.

....

i thanked her, not really realizing for real what she was about to do.. and she reiterated, louder this time,

"i mean, only for, like.. the REALLY elderly." just for emphasis?

..........

i ended up with $47 that i hadn't had before.. and like i said, a really great story. i hope you all enjoyed my humiliation as much as i do (now that it's over).