some people, i've noticed, are not people (regardless of how wonderful they are, and how much you love them) that you could ever be with. it's good, when you realize this swiftly. it's been bad for me (and i'm sure for others of you) when you didn't.
when i was in high school, there was a guy, Casey, who was one of my best friends. i adored him, adored his family, loved spending time with him.. he didn't always take it the way i sent it to him. i know, it was sad. i had/have nothing but love for him, but i can't stand to be his friend anymore. this isn't the way things should be. ever.
life is so much simpler now.. not only am i not stressed about trying to convince casey that i really do love him, just not in that way.. it's truly a shame that it all came at the expense of our entire friendship. were it to happen now, it would be completely different.
for one, i know the true value of a friend. i know the expense, and it doesn't bother me at all. friends are priceless, and i know that now. for two, i am not as insecure as i was in high school, and there is no way i would take being shit on (like i was, for not dating casey.. even though i had a great reason not to), like i was shit on. it makes no sense, and i'm secure enough to say "FUCK YOU" to anyone who should hint at making me feel less-than-good about not being with someone i didn't want to be with. besides, i was my usual self, and i let him down as gently as i could, while remaining firm. it's just how i am, and everyone who is like that will understand, and agree. i hope they do the same for the whole situation.
i respect any/everyone who doesn't go with what's easiest just because.. well, it's easier that way. i hope that all of the people who really know me respect me, as well. i further hope.. i further hope that none of them feel bad, for doing what's right for them, either. i would expect nothing different from those i call friend. i don't say that lightly, and you all know that. goodnight.