everything was so easy, and now it just got harder than before. just now, today. i mean.. 24-hours-today, not since-i-woke-up-today. huge guilt.

drunken guilt-trips are horrible, and i'm hating myself for them. they weren't meant maliciously, i promise. my stupid jealous reared it's ugly head - and it's making me feel like shit. didn't really see how bad i was until today.

this is as far as i take it. it shouldn't have been this far to begin with. hence the kicking-myself, and the general not-wanting-to-talk-about-it-anymore.