Friday, August 13

i have an urge, after reading some of the pseudo-political, neo-liberal papers i found in milwaukee, to move there. they've got advertisements for food places, music places, fun things to do galore. but then i think about things, for real, and realize that maybe what i really like is being connected. i feel so alive right now, maybe all i want is to feel like everyone around me is that alive too.. and that's something i don't need to be in a big city to find.

also, some of the things that make me feel *most* alive are the things that i wouldn't notice, were i in that big city. the sky, for instance, the night sky tonight, on our drive back, was beautiful. the sight of it, unobstructed by big buildings, was amazing. the after-sunset colors were a literal rainbow - Robby pointed that out to me.

and being around so many people - while inviggorating, is also depressing. here, i feel like i make a difference. big cities are WONDERFUL, and i love to visit them. i think green bay or appleton is a fine example of how big of a town i could actually stand to live in, and still feel like myself. or neenah.. i've always loved neenah.

1 comment:

B said...

Have you ever been in a big city at night and seen the sky? It has this purple -blackish tint. Some people call it some kind of light polution. I think its beautiful in a gigantic sort of way, if that makes any sense. It comes from the lights over the city at night, and the way they reflect on the clouds, or something like that. Either way, I think it's beautiful.

When you lived in the city, where did you live? Were you downtown or in a big, busy area similar to downtown? I always loved visiting downtown, but living there would not have been my cup of tea. I love the suburbs. You're close to everything but it's still like living in a smaller town, in a way. Not the big buildings, the sense of closeness -- all that. You kind of get the best of both things. I miss a lot of things about the city. There is so much to do, so much to see. More art, and more people that share your interests. You don't have to go far to get out into the country and to experience things like that.

Growing up, I lived (kind of like you) in a small town about 40 - 45 minutes outside of St. Louis. It really was a small town, or a group of small towns. Lots of farmers and fields and trees and rivers. Great place to grow up. I loved the fact that I could have that, yet still be able to drive into the city to whatever I wanted. I really miss that - being able to do that. I think there are a lot of things about being in that kind of situation that are great - at least for me. I feel like I need that kind of balance again, most of the time.