this is what i would tell you, if you were here... and my mouth wasn't full of bagel.
don't force him away. don't make him feel stupid for not finding you repulsive. if he sees the worst in you, and he doesn't blink, why does it matter to you? his views on you are NOT your views on yourself. some of your "worst" bits.. you know how sometimes, when you love someone, the fact that they are capable of the most dubious shit can become the most endearing thing in the world.. and how great that feeling is, that one where you love them for showing you their chewed up food, or wearing socks for 3 days in a row (the same socks)? that's a great feeling for me, to know that i can love someone without condition.. why are you trying to take that feeling away from him?
be so so happy, so so grateful that someone's falling head over heels for you. don't go out of your way to pull said dubious crap, but don't beat him off, because he loves you regardless.
just my two cents. (i wouldn't hate you for getting angry, either.)
3 comments:
Thanks. I know, intellectually, I should just let it go. Emotionally it's harder. Fortunately, we can talk about stuff like this, which is nice. I'm sure I'll bring it up tonight. But the moral support is very much appreciated, more than I can say. :)
much understood, i'm going through some dubious crap phase myself right this second. actually, it'd be nice to have you to talk to, should i need to. maybe i'll okask you.
i'm feeling like crap today, and i hope everything works out well for you. :)
It's hard not to be nervous when something feels so right. You look for the errors and the problems and the down side to things, whether you mean to or not sometimes. I think seeing nothing but wonderful qualities in someone is a good thing, and should be embraced whenever possible.
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