someone needs to take my phone away from me, when i'm home alone. last night might have deserved it, but it was still uncalled for. and overcalled. i should definately call sam again today - or maybe not. all i can think are good thoughts, maybe i should leave it at that. also, there's something downloading on my computer, so maybe i called for computer assistance?

sorry cam, for making you be support-guy over the phone last night. only ex-boyfriends should have that sort of crap. you two gave great help, though.. hopefully tonight i won't be too far gone to remember to defrag before bed. again, very sweet of (both of) you.

sam popped the question to the girl. last week. told me about him, his girl (fiance!), his family. think i let too much spill about my opinions on them and such, but hopefully, i don't have to apologise for that shit anymore. hopefully, we've both grown enough. talked with him for a long time, it seemed like.. or maybe it just seemed like a long time, because i realized a lot. i'm not upset about him being engaged. at first, when he met this lady, i was. slightly jealous, i guess. i kept asking myself, "If i'm the one who let him go, shouldn't I be having the good karma, and finding the love of my life first?" it made me jealous - not i-wanna-be-with-him jealous, more i-wanna-meet-my-best-person jealous.

maybe the reason that i'm not, anymore, is because i have? i'd love to think so, but my head won't let my heart think that far ahead. if i think too far ahead, i might get whiplash in two days, if the world crashes down. only two full days in between, now. i'm practically purring.